| My husband and I have been together for a total of 12 years but we have only been married for about 4 1/2. We met in middle school and started dating at the end of our 9th grade year. I always had the biggest crush on him in middle school but didn't even think he knew I existed. So needless to say when I found out the feeling were mutual in high school I jumped at my chance and we have been together ever since. But now we are at a hurdle in our lives that it seems like we just can't get over. Granted we have been through a lot over the years we have argued and disagreed but we always overcome. He lost his job in 2010 at a manufacturing company because the company moved to Mexico. Luckily they gave the employees there an opportunity to go back to school on their dime. So he began taking classes. But he didn't continue to look for work he wanted to focus on getting back in to school after so long. Which I understood completely and decided to take on the responsibility of being the bread winner for a while. With that being said I felt like we working a number of jobs to pay bill was not the best choice seeing as though we have two children and they need their mom. So I made a decision to join the Army. It was a hard choice to make but I did it and I left my family for 6 months to pursue a better life for us all. I got station in Colorado which is of 1300 miles away from all our family and friends. But it seems like every since I got back we are having such a hard time communicating. Financially I am stressed to the max because we only have one income and it's so hard for two people to be spending one pay check. Before we got here I asked him what his plan was for work. He told me that he was going to find a job. But when we got here it didn't seem like he was looking very hard. He complains that we don't have sex and that I treat him like I don't love him. But I do love him with all my heart and would do anything for him. I am just at a point in my life where I want more out of life. I think 3 years is long enough to be out of work and get the hang of going to school. I guess I have a feeling of resentment toward him for not stepping up sooner and helping. I want to communicate these things with him but I don't want to hurt his feelings. And every time I say something about him helping more around the house or finding work it like he puts it all back on me. I feel like he has gotten comfortable with where he is and he just doesn't care anymore. I don't feel like I should work all day and come home and clean and cook. I don't want to be the man and the women in our marriage. I just want it to be equal and fair. I want to feel like I am with a man that can support me not only physically but in every aspect. I don't want to end our marriage I don't know where I would be without him but I want him to find a purpose or direction for where he wants his life to be. I don't plan on making a career out of the Army but I am going to use all the resources available to me so that when my time ends I can continue on with my life and the plans I have. I really am at my wits end and I don't know what to do. I want to be affectionate but I just can't bring myself to do it because in the back of my mind I am harboring ill feeling toward him and I don't know how to express it, I feel like the love is slipping away and I am devastated.. Please help me save my marriage!!!! | |||
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