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How To Learn Communication Skills?

I'd love advice on how to learn good communcation skills. I myself actually know some good skills and try to practice them. When I do have the courage to speak up I use "I" messages instead of "you" and I don't say "never" and "always" and I use active listening and am not afraid to look inward at my own faults, mistakes, etc. My biggest problem is the fear of speaking up at all and gettingt to the point of thinking trying to speak up for myself will do no good because I'll be met with the "you're worse than me" attitude or sarcasm. (he does not do name calling, so thats good.)
My husband is more of a raised voice, sarcastic comeback type with poor listening skills. He seems to feel victimized or take things personally a lot. One time he was yelling and later was totally surprised that I thought he was angry.
I've always been a pleaser, avoid conflict, quiet type. He's always been more vocal, quick to anger, victim type. Counseling would be great if we didn't live in the middle of nowhere. Any advice on "DIY Communcation 101"?

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