My husband and I have been going through a rough patch. A few weeks ago, during the midst of a discussion about the state of our marriage, I told him that I felt that we should try to spend more quality time together in order to try and get our relationship back on the right track. He asked me what resources I had consulted that led me to that suggestion (because it is the exact opposite of what he feels will help), and I said, "My therapist, the self-help books I've been reading, and my friends."
He then shot back with, "Well, my friends all tell me to leave you."
When I asked him for details, he backtracked and said that they knew he was unhappy and have told him that they want him to be happy, with or without me. But, my husband has an (admitted) history of dishonesty with me, especially when he thinks the truth will upset me, so I'm not sure if I believe him.
When I asked him why his friends say that, he said it's because "all we do is fight." I find this interesting, because we really don't socialize much as a couple anymore and there is no one who spends enough time with us together who would be able to have any sort of objective observations about the state of our marriage. I assume that my husband perceives that we fight a lot, relays this to his friends without taking ownership of any of the reasons that we fight, and naturally they take his side.
I asked him who these friends are (because in my mind, they are no friends of our marriage) but he refused to tell me. The more I think about it, the more this bothers me. I feel like he is protecting their privacy/secrecy, while he had no problem sharing the intimate details of our marriage with them.
Am I overreacting? Should I just let it go? For the record, he doesn't want to divorce me, we are in counseling, and I think our relationship is moving in the right direction.
He then shot back with, "Well, my friends all tell me to leave you."
When I asked him for details, he backtracked and said that they knew he was unhappy and have told him that they want him to be happy, with or without me. But, my husband has an (admitted) history of dishonesty with me, especially when he thinks the truth will upset me, so I'm not sure if I believe him.
When I asked him why his friends say that, he said it's because "all we do is fight." I find this interesting, because we really don't socialize much as a couple anymore and there is no one who spends enough time with us together who would be able to have any sort of objective observations about the state of our marriage. I assume that my husband perceives that we fight a lot, relays this to his friends without taking ownership of any of the reasons that we fight, and naturally they take his side.
I asked him who these friends are (because in my mind, they are no friends of our marriage) but he refused to tell me. The more I think about it, the more this bothers me. I feel like he is protecting their privacy/secrecy, while he had no problem sharing the intimate details of our marriage with them.
Am I overreacting? Should I just let it go? For the record, he doesn't want to divorce me, we are in counseling, and I think our relationship is moving in the right direction.
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