Right know I've been with a girl from the same course in my college for a little over a year and 6 months called Zoe. Since New year's a few months ago there has been some things that have given me some issue that seem to be pulling on our relationship.
On New Years my college friends, Zoe, and I decided to all get together and have a house party and whilst drunk she decided to get on one of the girls at the party, not just in front of my friends but also in front of me whilst I stood there. Over a couple of minutes as i decided to leave out of the house after seeing her getting literally on top of her whist they continued to kiss; this was the first thing that i didn't like to see her do whilst our relationship has been so great.
With her upset and crying as i confront her about it she instincts that it will never happen again, which in my understanding has never reoccurred since that night. Solely her reply to her intentions was that ''it was just for fun''.
With her understanding towards my opinion on her open idea on what 'fun' is at a party, a more recent occurrence that has happened last week, with 12 of our friends she went out to a party without inviting me, (a bit upset that she didn't bother even thinking about asking me but continuing onto the main topic..) After coming Thursday stating to me that she isn't seeing me that night because she is out with friends, Friday having a hangover so we didnt see each other, and Saturday night at 9pm after going shopping with a friend and then instead of going to mine deciding to go to some guys house until i rang her were after talking she then decided to leave, i noticed that she had a love-bite/hickey on her neck.
Knowing what it was and calming pointing it out in a conversation later on as it appeared that she may have intended not to tell me, when confronting to me about it, the cause for this was that as they were out with these friends they played a drinking game, and what happened was a friend of her best friend gave her a love-bite/hickey. Her reason again was that it was just for fun.
Knowing the way that i reacted primarily from the first incident and then to have done another which i believe i could say wasn't any better, I really have no idea how i should react or sort this issue out.
I really like Zoe and I would really like to keep this relationship with her as despite these two issues it has been great, however i'm having a really hard time right now to think straight. And with her believing that i need to trust her more it seems to be impossibly in my current state of mind. Right now she has paid for a £205 ticket to a festival with all of the people that were at this party on Thursday without much consideration to my presence at this festival, and in addition i got a defensive reply of whatever I say, she is still going to be friends and talk to this person that gave her the love-bite as he's supposedly a really nice person.
Attempting to settle my head i thought that it would be a good idea to speak to the person who did this (Ashley), and maybe after talking with him maybe i could have seen it was just a drunk thing where all of them were doing this like that or some hopeful reason why it would justify it being an alright thing for someone to do this to a people in a '''committed''' relationship. She strongly refused that she didnt want me to bring any of it up to anyone of them (covering up something?)... This is starting to making me a bit more worried because of this response as im not an aggressive person, i would have just calmly spoke to him or anyone else who was there.
I am really stuck with this, and as i talk to her, see her, or do anything that isnt even related to her its still always in the back of my head and my conscious is really bothering me.
Apologizes for the length but i would like to give as much important detail as possible before needing to reply to any possible questions.
Ant.
On New Years my college friends, Zoe, and I decided to all get together and have a house party and whilst drunk she decided to get on one of the girls at the party, not just in front of my friends but also in front of me whilst I stood there. Over a couple of minutes as i decided to leave out of the house after seeing her getting literally on top of her whist they continued to kiss; this was the first thing that i didn't like to see her do whilst our relationship has been so great.
With her upset and crying as i confront her about it she instincts that it will never happen again, which in my understanding has never reoccurred since that night. Solely her reply to her intentions was that ''it was just for fun''.
With her understanding towards my opinion on her open idea on what 'fun' is at a party, a more recent occurrence that has happened last week, with 12 of our friends she went out to a party without inviting me, (a bit upset that she didn't bother even thinking about asking me but continuing onto the main topic..) After coming Thursday stating to me that she isn't seeing me that night because she is out with friends, Friday having a hangover so we didnt see each other, and Saturday night at 9pm after going shopping with a friend and then instead of going to mine deciding to go to some guys house until i rang her were after talking she then decided to leave, i noticed that she had a love-bite/hickey on her neck.
Knowing what it was and calming pointing it out in a conversation later on as it appeared that she may have intended not to tell me, when confronting to me about it, the cause for this was that as they were out with these friends they played a drinking game, and what happened was a friend of her best friend gave her a love-bite/hickey. Her reason again was that it was just for fun.
Knowing the way that i reacted primarily from the first incident and then to have done another which i believe i could say wasn't any better, I really have no idea how i should react or sort this issue out.
I really like Zoe and I would really like to keep this relationship with her as despite these two issues it has been great, however i'm having a really hard time right now to think straight. And with her believing that i need to trust her more it seems to be impossibly in my current state of mind. Right now she has paid for a £205 ticket to a festival with all of the people that were at this party on Thursday without much consideration to my presence at this festival, and in addition i got a defensive reply of whatever I say, she is still going to be friends and talk to this person that gave her the love-bite as he's supposedly a really nice person.
Attempting to settle my head i thought that it would be a good idea to speak to the person who did this (Ashley), and maybe after talking with him maybe i could have seen it was just a drunk thing where all of them were doing this like that or some hopeful reason why it would justify it being an alright thing for someone to do this to a people in a '''committed''' relationship. She strongly refused that she didnt want me to bring any of it up to anyone of them (covering up something?)... This is starting to making me a bit more worried because of this response as im not an aggressive person, i would have just calmly spoke to him or anyone else who was there.
I am really stuck with this, and as i talk to her, see her, or do anything that isnt even related to her its still always in the back of my head and my conscious is really bothering me.
Apologizes for the length but i would like to give as much important detail as possible before needing to reply to any possible questions.
Ant.
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