I am new to this site but am hoping to get some advise on how to save me sexual life and marriage. Its a long, long story so I will try to be brief in describing.
My wife and I have been married for 6 years. We met in our late 20's and now are both 33. A few years back we had discussions about having a 3 some or going to a sex party, but it was always left as a fantasy and not a reality. Just bedroom talk. She mentioned that she had attended a sex party with a previous boyfriend and that they each slept with someone different that night. She said it was exciting, erotic and enjoyable but it is not something she thought we should do.
Fast forward to about 2 months ago. We were away on vacation at a all inclusive couples only resort in the Caribbean. We met another couple and instantly hit it off. We hung out and partied with Frank & Molly for 2 days. It was our last night there and we all started drinking quite a bit. After a while we all ended up in a private hot tub off of their room. Frank first broached the subject and said that he and Molly have an open relationship and asked if that interested us at all. They are both very attractive and there certainly was some sexual chemistry between us all. So after a bit of an awkward silence I admitted we have talked about it before. I gave my wife a "lets do it look and head nod" and before I knew it she and Frank were headed into the room. Things started happening between Molly and I, and she suggested we go inside. I walked inside to find my wife having sex with Frank on the couch. It immediately made me crazy to see her right in front of me on t op of another man and seemingly taking a lot of enjoyment from it. Almost like she didn't even notice I had entered the room, even though we made eye contact.
I just walked though without saying a word and went into the back bedroom with Molly. Once we got in there I tried to play it cool and go along with it all, but I could not perform. She was very understanding and tried to comfort me saying how sweet I was, but all the while I could here my wife having what sounded like more wild sex than we have ever had. Making sounds I have never heard.
Deep down inside I feel like I wanted to do this and it was more me pushing the idea than her, but the fact that she embraced it and took deep enjoyment from it while I almost had a nervous breakdown has been with me ever since. Now that we are home I have been unable to perform with her. Any time she tries to initiate sex I cant shake the image of seeing her having sex with that other guy. She is angry and frustrated and to a certain degree blaming me because I was the one that said "yes lets do it."
I don't know how we can proceed from here or how I can escape what I have seen and heard. It is like an image that is burned into my thoughts 24 hours a day. I love her with all my heart and cannot bear the thought of life without her, but also cannot help but now feel emasculated around her.
My wife and I have been married for 6 years. We met in our late 20's and now are both 33. A few years back we had discussions about having a 3 some or going to a sex party, but it was always left as a fantasy and not a reality. Just bedroom talk. She mentioned that she had attended a sex party with a previous boyfriend and that they each slept with someone different that night. She said it was exciting, erotic and enjoyable but it is not something she thought we should do.
Fast forward to about 2 months ago. We were away on vacation at a all inclusive couples only resort in the Caribbean. We met another couple and instantly hit it off. We hung out and partied with Frank & Molly for 2 days. It was our last night there and we all started drinking quite a bit. After a while we all ended up in a private hot tub off of their room. Frank first broached the subject and said that he and Molly have an open relationship and asked if that interested us at all. They are both very attractive and there certainly was some sexual chemistry between us all. So after a bit of an awkward silence I admitted we have talked about it before. I gave my wife a "lets do it look and head nod" and before I knew it she and Frank were headed into the room. Things started happening between Molly and I, and she suggested we go inside. I walked inside to find my wife having sex with Frank on the couch. It immediately made me crazy to see her right in front of me on t op of another man and seemingly taking a lot of enjoyment from it. Almost like she didn't even notice I had entered the room, even though we made eye contact.
I just walked though without saying a word and went into the back bedroom with Molly. Once we got in there I tried to play it cool and go along with it all, but I could not perform. She was very understanding and tried to comfort me saying how sweet I was, but all the while I could here my wife having what sounded like more wild sex than we have ever had. Making sounds I have never heard.
Deep down inside I feel like I wanted to do this and it was more me pushing the idea than her, but the fact that she embraced it and took deep enjoyment from it while I almost had a nervous breakdown has been with me ever since. Now that we are home I have been unable to perform with her. Any time she tries to initiate sex I cant shake the image of seeing her having sex with that other guy. She is angry and frustrated and to a certain degree blaming me because I was the one that said "yes lets do it."
I don't know how we can proceed from here or how I can escape what I have seen and heard. It is like an image that is burned into my thoughts 24 hours a day. I love her with all my heart and cannot bear the thought of life without her, but also cannot help but now feel emasculated around her.
Put the internet to work for you.
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