Running away from Uni to Germany

I'm due to start University in two weeks. I've had 5 years of depression and won't fit in with the younger naive, childish students there. I'm 21 in 4 days. I'm not compatible to make any friends there for many reasons I will not expound here. I'm considering using the Student loan money (I get the maximum amount because of my low income household) to run away to Germany. I can speak some German already and I yearn for a new start, a new life away from this country. I'll go straight to say Berlin for example, find a job and earn my own money to start the life I want to live. If I end up begging for money on the streets then so be it. The thrill of being in a thriving environment, watching tourists pass by. The diversity of it all is enough to make this dream a reality. I have so many problems and their solutions can only be found in the hardest of times. Being this person in Germany will compel me to change and enhance myself - even if this means being homeless for some time - I will have purified my mind from the corruption I face living where I do now. The people at university are too simple for me. They are so like children and I want to be apart of something raw - something life threatening because it is in these moments where my true identity is found. Such hard times will show me of my skills and limitations and turn me into something special - much like a monk who meditates for long periods of time. To transcend into the deeper regions of existence - living life on the edge. I will sit inside a university dormitory watching my life pass me by when I could be discovering Europe and finding my destiny - which may be death, which may not. I accept any outcome whatever it may be.

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