Feel so outcasted and rejected by my family. Felt like this my entire life!

So its my dad's birthday today and hes taken out my entire family to dinner except ME. its been like that my entire life where either my dad or mum neglect me. Throughout my 18 years of living, ive barely been able to talk to either my mum or dad comfortably. My parents only support me financially but not emotionally. However, ive had a job since I was 15 and now usually pay for myself such as buying clothes ,etc. Ive had many problems in my life and sticky situations which I had to sort out by myself (I keep most of my personal things from my friends as I don't want them to pity me). Ive never felt a moment where I could share anything with my parents. I envy some of my mates when it comes to the special relationship they have with their dad. Their dads go with them to football matches and they have laughs together. Ive never felt that with my dad. In all seriousness ive never laughed with my dad or had a conversation for more than 3 minutes. My dad barely acknowledges me :/ and has now told me that il have to support myself for uni financially although that is not a problem. Ive confronted my dad about my feelings 2 years ago and it ended up in a huge row which led to me being kicked out the house and me living on my own and at friends houses for 2 months. Ive always wanted to feel part of my family but I guess il never have that until I have a family of my own. Ive been heavily neglected throughout my life and they've never been proud of me. I received my Alevel results and got A*AA yet my parents didn't care. Whereas my cousins who got lower grades, their parents were so so proud. My friend recently had a get together in his house and his dad would boast about him so much making me jealous as my dad has never been like that. Just realised ive written a lot and im sorry but I just cant hold my emotions back anymore. rant over :(

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