Going on a date with someone you aren't overly attracted to?

Yes, I know - we shouldn't base partners on looks... yada yada.
But we live in the real world.

I'm supposed to be going on out with this girl on Monday, and she seems much more into me already, despite our only encounter thus far being a brief one.

Usually it wouldn't be a big deal (for me, dates are just be a bit of fun - nothing too serious), but like I said - she seems quite into me, and she's a really nice girl, and is someone I might have to see again via the mutual friend who introduced us.

If the date goes well, I'd hate to stop things straight after. But if there's not full attraction from my side, I don't know if I should date her. After all I want a partner who I'm very attracted to.
I'm not sure whether this makes me a bit harsh, a bit 'shallow', or whether it's a good enough reason.

Had I known she'd be this into me already, I wouldn't have arranged a date with her. I feel like it's adding a bit of pressure on me, if that makes sense.
She's not a bad looking girl at all, but I'm simply not drawn to her looks like I usually have to be in order to feel something.

Anyone with any experiences on either side?

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Hear me out.

Not sure I'd want people to find me (and this post) in the future, so anonymous it is.

I've ended a year-long relationship with this girl in my college who I found to be too much to handle for me. She has issues but she won't solve them, so the break up was easy for me, I've had enough, I'm gone-kinda affair. This was at the start of the year. Just to offer an image of my recent 'background'.

I've now, in March, recently met this girl from the January '14 intake for A-levels (I'm from the January '13 intake) and I really like her. Part of me realises that maybe I'm talking to her to fill in the gaps, since I'm a rather studious person and I don't keep many people close to me because of past experiences. But then I realise that maybe I do find myself attracted to her personality, her behaviour, etc.

Problem is, 1. she's busy, so she doesn't reply too frequently. 2. she doesn't really respond to subtly flirtatious messages. There was one time where I asked her if I should be appreciative that she still talks to me a lot despite being so busy, and she never responded to that. 3. she sometimes tends to respond to long messages with an answer to the last line.

I would really love some advice on this. What should I do? How do I find out if she does show mutual affection?

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How should I deal with sisters boyfriend?

I am being blackmailed by my sisters boyfriend after he caught me in an embarrassing position. I REALLY can't carry on with his demands for money ect... What should I do? If I say no to him then he will tell everyone!

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are some people meant to be alone for the good of others?

As in, are some people so ****ed up that it is in the general interest of anyone they like or love to steer clear?

After responses to my first serious relationship's failure, I think I'm one of them. I think I should take a long break from considering myself datable. And by long I mean indefinite. Until I die if necessary.
Not even because I hate myself which I don't-I like myself or some aspecys of myself more than TSR likes me it seems, and that probably goes for most people who know me irl. O'm not perfect but I'm still a good guy-TSR would say I'm acyually a creepy stalker obsessive and my actions would conform this. So even though I might think it's good for me to have a relationship-the reality is it's not and it never will be. Just no.

I think it would be a good idea if I delete my ex's pjone no. And email address, then deactivate my Facebook and TSR account.

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Dealing with WH's ongoing affair

The current affair happened 10 years after the last one. I found out at that time that he had cheated before we got married. I'm sure you are wondering why I stayed so long. Now I'm wondering the same thing.

I haven't left, but I'm falling apart. I started a blog, but I was hoping that I might find some kindred spirits here. I figure if I go to a therapist, she will just say to leave. I totally understand and I may have to leave just to save my sanity.

Ok, the particulars. My husband turned 50 last September and now he's ****ing one of his 25 year old employees. I told him that if his boss finds out, he will be lucky if they only fire the OW. He doesn't want to leave me in case the OW leaves him. REALLY? I'm the consolation prize?

So I'm making plans for our divorce. Just not sure when to pull the trigger. I'm a SAHM and he doesn't really make that much money. I might have to live with my parents. So sometimes I wonder if I can live in the same house with him, but divorced. At this moment, I think it will be too painful.

The crazy thing is that I was actually thinking of leaving him next year, so I really do not understand why I'm so upset. Things trigger me and I start crying. Can anyone relate to what I'm going through?

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Told me tonight he wants a divorce

Earlier this evening, my H was trying to cut a super cheesy pizza and it wasn't cutting right. He threw the cutter down, said "It's ruined now" and stormed out. I didn't say anything, just continued making our daughter's birthday cake. A while later, I left the kitchen for a moment and on my way back in, heard a glass shatter and my husband hurled a slice of the pizza across the room screaming at the dogs to just eat it. Turns out, he had bumped the wall and knocked a mug down. Not a special mug, just a hunk of glass. What the dogs and the pizza had to do with it, I'll never know. He started getting super irate and I pointed down the hall and said "Go to bed. I'll clean it up." He just looked at me and asked if I had just told him to go to bed. I said "Yes. I told you, when you're drinking all day, you get mean and angry." He responded with "F*** you!" and went to the room.

I let him cool down for awhile before going in to tell him that he had scared our daughter, again, and that that was not a normal reaction to a broken glass. He told me not to talk to him so I left. When I went back an hour later, he had locked the door and gone to sleep. This was around 7:30 or so. He had to be up at 10 to get ready for work, so I went to my parents' house and returned at 10 to make sure he was getting up. If he sleeps in, it's always my fault for not waking him despite him having an alarm set.

Anyway, we didn't say much but when he was ready, he started to leave without giving me a kiss or saying goodbye. When I asked, he gave a crappy kiss and walked out. I asked him what he was angry about now. He said "nothing." Unfortunately, I can't keep my damn mouth shut and yelled after him "This has to stop. You're an alcoholic." He responded with "You're a b1*ch!" I didn't say anything more but he came back in, threw his cell phone in my general direction and said "I want a divorce. I'm tired of being called an alcoholic." So I came back with "Maybe you should stop drinking." But he said "No. I want a divorce."

This all happened right in front of our 13 year old and 5 year old. I'm crushed. My first marriage ended because my X was more interested in his drugs than he was me and our children. Now I'm losing another one to an addiction. I keep asking myself why we aren't good enough to love more than his beer. I used to be an addict and when it came down to losing my kids, I got clean immediately. It was a matter of "These people are my life, I will not lose them" and I was done, so why doesn't he say that about us? Why is the stupid drinking so much more important than his wife and kids?

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Easiest degrees without any inclinations or preferences?

wrong forum, pls delete.

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Does anyone go to Stafford College?

Just been accepted into stafford college, Travel and Tourism level 3 extended diploma!!!
Was wondering if anyone goes there x

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Should I Just Un-friend her?

Hey, so I need some advice about this situation because I'm bit confused and don't know what to do anymore= / I've a crush on this girl from my Uni but she is taken. I spoke to her 1-2 in person for little bit and sometimes on facebook but recently she stopped replying to my message.

I think she knows i like her but she got bf so i was wondering if i should just un-friend her? any Advice?

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Texts from the ex

Okay, so I know this could spark up a lot of stuff. But I'm not sure. Me and my ex broke up in March due to certain reasons that happened at her uni (nothing sexual), before that we'd been together just under 4 years, and broke up once during then because of exams, family problems and stuff.

So we split, we didn't contact each other at all until a few days ago, she text me asking how I was, and whether it was ok for her to text me or not. Of course I replied saying that I was okay, and plodding along, and asked how she was. She dead ended a few texts so I couldnt really reply, so i stopped replying.

Anyway, she text me last night asking if i was in town last night, i said yes why? Her reply was, just wondering! Seems a bit suspicious to me.

We've been texting a bit today, discussing our nights and what she's up to over easter and things. She puts 1 or 0 x's (not that that bothers me).

Usually I can tell if a girl likes me, but on this instance, I can't work out if she's literally just trying to be a friend, or does want to re-do something, I don't want to talk about the past, and I don't want to ask her straight up what she wants!

What do we all reckon? :p 3rd times a charm, or 3rd times a nono (if the time comes around). Heart says yes, brain says, 3 times?!

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GIRLS - Your Failed Relationships

I have a question for the girls who post on The Student Room and would beg you for your absolute honesty when responding. Please do not give the "proper" or "mature" response, or prove how long-in-the-tooth and wise you are. James needs that honesty.

In regards to your past relationships that have failed; can all of you relate to a situation wherein the boy meets girl, girl likes boy and endeavours to tie him down and make him hers; but fails? For whatever reason, the attempt failed. Don't care whose fault it was really, but how did it make you feel?

Did it make you feel vengeful? Did it make you want to come back stronger? Did it make you rethink your own personality and inspire you to be a little more assertive, a little less assertive or to just play things more slowly next time?

Pretty much every girl I speak to IRL tells me this kind of story, and I'm wondering it it's somewhat universal amongst all of you or just the girls I attract? Either way; your feedback would be vastly appreciated.

Keep right on.

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How to ask him out?

So, there's this guy on my same course, we've known each other for 3 years, but never really talked due to the fact that we had different groups of friends. He's what can be considered pretty handsome, though I never noticed until this year. We are in our last year and we attended a very small class (around 10 people) and so everyone got to talk a lot and I realised I really like him! He's a very nice, interesting and fun guy and I've heard that he's actually looking for a girlfriend.

The problem is, we never really talked much after class, maybe just a few words or when we bumped into each other around campus. I'd like to ask him out on a date, but how do I do this? Now it's the end of the year so even if he says no it won't be that awkward but I still don't want to make him uncomfortable. Anyone had a similar experience and can offer some advice? Thank you! :)

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Why is she acting so weird?

I really*like this girl. Two weeks ago, we had a "date" planned for this past Friday. The Monday of that same week, we hung out alone in the park for about 4 hours. It was a good time, I felt she was into me. Something was there. On Tuesday (which happened to be April Fool's) I decided to break it to her that I like her. As soon as I told her, her response was "April Fool's?" To which I said no and played it off as serious. She said "I don't know" so I told her it's yes or no. She responded saying it wasn't a good time. Since then, she's been having on/off days with me. Sometimes she'll be fine and sometimes she won't give a crap about me and it's playing on my mind. We ended up not going out on Friday, but we went out on Monday with two other friends. She was fine. But later that night when we were texting, she acts super weird. We didn't speak at all up until the day before yesterday. She texted me and then starting snapchatting me. She was being really flirty, asking for hugs and telling me she wants me to cuddle her while she sleeps. Yesterday she texted me saying we should make music together. I said sure and then I offered to take her out afterwards, she had no objection. We ended up speaking on the phone for two hours and texting until 4:30 AM. Why the mixed signals? What's she up to? For the record, she knows I was serious when I told her I liked her.

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Is it possible/likely for a girl to not want to be friends with a guy...

...Because she doesn't want to be friendzoned?

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how to deal with socially awkward friends

I dont mean to offend anyone, and by 'deal with' i just mean generally how to get on with them better and for things to run more smoothly.

basically some of the people im friends with are very socially awkward and its beginning to drain me a bit. they dont have anything 'wrong' with them such as aspergers or anything. in social situations they will leave me to make all the decisions, even simple things like what we are going to do, where we will go for food, etc. to the point where if i dont say "lets go here" we will stand for ages, and no one will say "right lets go do this".. they all just stand and wait for me to take the lead and call the shots. and believe me im not a leader type person, im quite shy and underconfident but somehow im the "dominant" one in the group. and its getting a bit boring being the one to decide everything all the time. when its not that hard, in my opinion, to just say "i fancy doing this, do you wanna do it?". and i know to them this might seem really hard to do.. but its getting to the point where its really annoying me. and i even say "well yous can decide" but still, nothing hap pens, we stand in the same spot, waiting and waiting..

one of my friends is also the type when we are out to sit in a corner and not talk to anyone or make any effort. i try to include them in conversation and involve them but after a while it begins to seem like theyre being a burden.. i shouldnt feel like a mother having to constantly check up on their child and include them, we are all adults, why cant they make the effort themselves? and i know some people might attack me saying im being insensitive or that, but really try to imagine what i have to do on a night out or just generally hanging out, i cant just relax and have a good time, instead im basically babysitting this person, aiding them in socialising when shouldnt they be able to do this by now? like i said im quite shy and not very confident, yet around people i know or havent known that long i still make an effort.. i dont sit away in a corner and dont say a word all night. and this person's friends i havent known that long, whereas theyve known them since primary sc hool.. so its not like theyre around new people so feel uncomfortable. i know some people are introverts or that so i cant change them. but i dont see why its my responsibility to help them.. because if i dont do it i feel bad.

i dont want to just stop talking to them or stop inviting them out because if i do that itll be very obvious. but its getting a bit tiresome. they have their own friends who they make the effort to hang out with, so i dont know how they can manage to do that whilst with me theyre antisocial. they get invited to do things more than i do, and yet im feeling like i cant stand to have them around! they dont choose what they wanna do, so when i eventually say well do you wanna do this, and they say yeah, afterwards they moan "this is crap" etc and im thinking.. well why dont you suggest something you want to do instead? i asked them this and they said they "didnt think people would enjoy what they enjoy" when itll be simple things like watching movies.. how can organising that cause anxiety that people wont want to do it?

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