I have had a respect-even reverence-for books for as long as I can remember. I treat them with care, and when I am done I either store them carefully in my bookcase or, if I don't think I will read them again, donate them or give them away. The thought of throwing a book away seemed almost sacrilegious.
I made an exception for this book. But to be fair, the trash is where garbage goes, and that's what this book is.
(Seriously, I threw the book away as soon as I finished it. I mention this to confirm that I actually did read the whole thing.)
I won't go chapter by chapter or point by point (this is a "mini" review after all). I'll just sum up my impressions, what I took away from it:
(Oh, by the way, if you have any of the problems mentioned in the book it's because of childhood abandonment issues. If you don't agree with that, it's because your view of the past is distorted.)
What he says over and over, that the reason people mistreat you and walk over you is because you are too nice and accommodating, and the assertion that if this is the case you are the one who is flawed and needs to change, not the person mistreating you, is an ugly, disgusting point of view, akin to telling an abused woman she shouldn't have made her husband angry.
I suspect that some of the author's observations may be true, but not for the reason he thinks. When someone is a selfish, pushy, jerk, people may be more accommodating to them, but it is not because they respect them for being true to themselves and sticking up for themselves. It's because the jerk is seen as confrontational that people tread lightly around them, to avoid making them mad and getting into a conflict. It is not respect, it is fear that gets these Un-Nice Guys what they want.
I see this book recommended all the time around here, and I just don't get it.
I made an exception for this book. But to be fair, the trash is where garbage goes, and that's what this book is.
(Seriously, I threw the book away as soon as I finished it. I mention this to confirm that I actually did read the whole thing.)
I won't go chapter by chapter or point by point (this is a "mini" review after all). I'll just sum up my impressions, what I took away from it:
- If other people mistreat, disrespect, use, or abuse you, it is your fault, not theirs; they are blameless
- You are a fool if you expect other people to be nice to you and treat you decently because you do the same for them
- Only by becoming a selfish a$$hole will you ever be liked and respected.
(Oh, by the way, if you have any of the problems mentioned in the book it's because of childhood abandonment issues. If you don't agree with that, it's because your view of the past is distorted.)
What he says over and over, that the reason people mistreat you and walk over you is because you are too nice and accommodating, and the assertion that if this is the case you are the one who is flawed and needs to change, not the person mistreating you, is an ugly, disgusting point of view, akin to telling an abused woman she shouldn't have made her husband angry.
I suspect that some of the author's observations may be true, but not for the reason he thinks. When someone is a selfish, pushy, jerk, people may be more accommodating to them, but it is not because they respect them for being true to themselves and sticking up for themselves. It's because the jerk is seen as confrontational that people tread lightly around them, to avoid making them mad and getting into a conflict. It is not respect, it is fear that gets these Un-Nice Guys what they want.
I see this book recommended all the time around here, and I just don't get it.
Put the internet to work for you.
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