I won't go into what started the fight other than to say I was simply a stupid ass for starting it. But here's the thing...I'm actually kinda glad it happened, and here's why...
It has been over 9 months since D-Day. We are moving forward, but I have known all along that my wife is still hurting, but she internalizes everything. I've told her she can go to counseling, but she won't. I won't push her and I've opened my computer to her as well as my table and cell phone.
But I know she still worries that I will stray again. Some pretty harsh things were yelled at me about being a liar and a cheater, so I know she is still in pain. I took it all without denying anything. In fact, I calmly told her several times that I am fully aware of what I have done.
One thing that she brought up is that although she can track my whereabouts via the app I installed on my phone for her, I still have my private office and she worries that I may be getting "visitors".
I know that my wife cannot heal and move forward unless she gets beyond these fears, so what did I do?
I installed a surveillance cam in my office pointed straight at my desk. I setup prt forwarding through the network firewall and gave her the IP address and port so that she can "see me" anytime she wants without me knowing she is viewing me. I insisted that she use it and she has.
Maybe now she'll believe me when I say that I'm not inviting women into my office.
I know 9 months isn't a long time, but if this helps her move forward, so much the better, yes? She did tell me this morning that she has been using it. I was glad to hear that and I insisted that she continues to do so.
It has been over 9 months since D-Day. We are moving forward, but I have known all along that my wife is still hurting, but she internalizes everything. I've told her she can go to counseling, but she won't. I won't push her and I've opened my computer to her as well as my table and cell phone.
But I know she still worries that I will stray again. Some pretty harsh things were yelled at me about being a liar and a cheater, so I know she is still in pain. I took it all without denying anything. In fact, I calmly told her several times that I am fully aware of what I have done.
One thing that she brought up is that although she can track my whereabouts via the app I installed on my phone for her, I still have my private office and she worries that I may be getting "visitors".
I know that my wife cannot heal and move forward unless she gets beyond these fears, so what did I do?
I installed a surveillance cam in my office pointed straight at my desk. I setup prt forwarding through the network firewall and gave her the IP address and port so that she can "see me" anytime she wants without me knowing she is viewing me. I insisted that she use it and she has.
Maybe now she'll believe me when I say that I'm not inviting women into my office.
I know 9 months isn't a long time, but if this helps her move forward, so much the better, yes? She did tell me this morning that she has been using it. I was glad to hear that and I insisted that she continues to do so.
Put the internet to work for you.
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