So I know this forum is called talk about marriage. Perhaps its the sex
and perhaps the basic fundamental issue here is the "talking" or communication.
Its definitely the core issue at hand is the communication. I should know because
I have been the one sharing and communicating how I feel with my wife and she does
not seem to want to communicate about things. Because of that I have shared with
coaches, counselors and experts who all say - she is the ones that needs to have
this discussion and you have to do this together..
This is quite strange to say the least. Perhaps I use this forum as a way to
vent and get things off my chest. I have been told by many friends, coaches and
counselors that I am a great communicator. Yet with my wife my communication does
not seem to work. Perhaps I put too much importance on our marriage and intimacy
and perhaps the real issue is communication.
What do you do if your wife avoids talking about an issue, avoids answering you and
even when you share the importance of all of this. When life seems to have more important
issues to deal with such as work, working out, cleaning the house, organizing things
in an obsessive compulsive way you start to wonder if perhaps the problem is avoiding
a discussion that could further your marriage and relationship because your wife is
busy distracting herself from having that conversation with you since its not a
priority to her or perhaps its just pure avoidance ..
There has been progress on different paths and places just not where I desire.
For example I have lost a lot of weight and look in better shape then I have ever been
in my life and since my wife has known me..My wife pays me compliments and comments that
I am looking good and the best I have looked. I am also noticing others being nicer and
I have an increased confidence.. I feel sexy and I look awesome. Yet I know that is NOT everything and only on the outside. Whats amazing to me is when I was 35 lbs overweight I seemed to have more sex and yet that could be timing of what is happening with my wife.
I have increased activities that make me feel good, I have taken dance classes and I am
doing things more for the betterment of myself and because of self love..
I have increased energy and libido from my changes and I am still stuck or
perhaps its not that I am stuck…its that my wife is the stuck one and I just
happen to be in for the ride or no ride ..
My wife has worked on improving her situation because for the last 3 years
she has not been to a doctor or anything that has evaluated her lack of libido
or the fact that she has no desire for sex at age 47 it seems like sleep and
work are the most important things…
Over the past 30 days my wife has been taking steps not because of me telling her
but I think she has started wondering what the issues are. She has scheduled
appointment with naturopath whom said her adrenals are running on air. He suggested
that it could take 3 months for her to come around and regain normal functions
around energy. She is always tired and she hasn't been to a gynecologist for 2-3
years, she hasn't had her hormones tested and she just scheduled 2 appointments
with the doctor.
Anyways - I want to take steps toward me not hanging on this issue because I feel
if I think about me having sex 1 time in 8 months or these issues the energy will
attract more of the same issues - no sex… I want to fix this badly …
It seems that the business we have gets in the way of us actually having any
personal life outside of work hours with either tv to watch or work to be done
until 10 pm it seems as though there is all time for work and no time for play.
Anyways - I just don't know what to do at this point because the fact that my
wife has no interest in sex this has impacted our communication. She likes to
complain and say stuff that i should be doing.. I feel that doing stuff for her
has not helped in the past, she doesn't really appreciate it ..even though
i Thought it would give her space and make her feel better..
What do I do ? How do I focus on being positive and is there a way I can attract
sex to me by being a certain way ? I have tried to draw the line several times
and suggest doctor and counseling and her response is she feels stressed out or
I am stressing her out …
What do I do ? Is there a way to get her to change or want to work on improving
with out being an ass and laying down an ultimatum ?
It kind of downing me out .. I feel great about how I look and my improvement yet
my wife sleeps on her side of the bed, and she seems to be dead to the world in bed.
I tried kissing my wife and telling her skin is so smooth and soft and she said is
that one of only 2 lines you know. I went to kiss her she turned over with her back
to me and shut out the light … in addition I have stopped trying to be affectionate
with her as well because she is always complaining about how I kiss, or something.
Its got me a bit sad..trying to stay positive . What the hell do I do ?
What can I do besides an ultimatum of counselor or go our own separate ways ?
I am now going to see what happens at Doctors next few weeks. Perhaps I can
say something in a way to make her think without getting into some ultimate
showdown with her …
I now this is all about communication yet what do you do if your wife ignores
what your communicating and every time you bring something up she complains that
your complaining and that shouldn't worry so much about what you don't have …
Its driving me insane and this has been gone on a while. Hey I want to feel
wanted and have her listen and work towards something improving together. Before
we started this business i reminded her we can't lose our relationship to work
and a business being the priority …
Any ideas ?
and perhaps the basic fundamental issue here is the "talking" or communication.
Its definitely the core issue at hand is the communication. I should know because
I have been the one sharing and communicating how I feel with my wife and she does
not seem to want to communicate about things. Because of that I have shared with
coaches, counselors and experts who all say - she is the ones that needs to have
this discussion and you have to do this together..
This is quite strange to say the least. Perhaps I use this forum as a way to
vent and get things off my chest. I have been told by many friends, coaches and
counselors that I am a great communicator. Yet with my wife my communication does
not seem to work. Perhaps I put too much importance on our marriage and intimacy
and perhaps the real issue is communication.
What do you do if your wife avoids talking about an issue, avoids answering you and
even when you share the importance of all of this. When life seems to have more important
issues to deal with such as work, working out, cleaning the house, organizing things
in an obsessive compulsive way you start to wonder if perhaps the problem is avoiding
a discussion that could further your marriage and relationship because your wife is
busy distracting herself from having that conversation with you since its not a
priority to her or perhaps its just pure avoidance ..
There has been progress on different paths and places just not where I desire.
For example I have lost a lot of weight and look in better shape then I have ever been
in my life and since my wife has known me..My wife pays me compliments and comments that
I am looking good and the best I have looked. I am also noticing others being nicer and
I have an increased confidence.. I feel sexy and I look awesome. Yet I know that is NOT everything and only on the outside. Whats amazing to me is when I was 35 lbs overweight I seemed to have more sex and yet that could be timing of what is happening with my wife.
I have increased activities that make me feel good, I have taken dance classes and I am
doing things more for the betterment of myself and because of self love..
I have increased energy and libido from my changes and I am still stuck or
perhaps its not that I am stuck…its that my wife is the stuck one and I just
happen to be in for the ride or no ride ..
My wife has worked on improving her situation because for the last 3 years
she has not been to a doctor or anything that has evaluated her lack of libido
or the fact that she has no desire for sex at age 47 it seems like sleep and
work are the most important things…
Over the past 30 days my wife has been taking steps not because of me telling her
but I think she has started wondering what the issues are. She has scheduled
appointment with naturopath whom said her adrenals are running on air. He suggested
that it could take 3 months for her to come around and regain normal functions
around energy. She is always tired and she hasn't been to a gynecologist for 2-3
years, she hasn't had her hormones tested and she just scheduled 2 appointments
with the doctor.
Anyways - I want to take steps toward me not hanging on this issue because I feel
if I think about me having sex 1 time in 8 months or these issues the energy will
attract more of the same issues - no sex… I want to fix this badly …
It seems that the business we have gets in the way of us actually having any
personal life outside of work hours with either tv to watch or work to be done
until 10 pm it seems as though there is all time for work and no time for play.
Anyways - I just don't know what to do at this point because the fact that my
wife has no interest in sex this has impacted our communication. She likes to
complain and say stuff that i should be doing.. I feel that doing stuff for her
has not helped in the past, she doesn't really appreciate it ..even though
i Thought it would give her space and make her feel better..
What do I do ? How do I focus on being positive and is there a way I can attract
sex to me by being a certain way ? I have tried to draw the line several times
and suggest doctor and counseling and her response is she feels stressed out or
I am stressing her out …
What do I do ? Is there a way to get her to change or want to work on improving
with out being an ass and laying down an ultimatum ?
It kind of downing me out .. I feel great about how I look and my improvement yet
my wife sleeps on her side of the bed, and she seems to be dead to the world in bed.
I tried kissing my wife and telling her skin is so smooth and soft and she said is
that one of only 2 lines you know. I went to kiss her she turned over with her back
to me and shut out the light … in addition I have stopped trying to be affectionate
with her as well because she is always complaining about how I kiss, or something.
Its got me a bit sad..trying to stay positive . What the hell do I do ?
What can I do besides an ultimatum of counselor or go our own separate ways ?
I am now going to see what happens at Doctors next few weeks. Perhaps I can
say something in a way to make her think without getting into some ultimate
showdown with her …
I now this is all about communication yet what do you do if your wife ignores
what your communicating and every time you bring something up she complains that
your complaining and that shouldn't worry so much about what you don't have …
Its driving me insane and this has been gone on a while. Hey I want to feel
wanted and have her listen and work towards something improving together. Before
we started this business i reminded her we can't lose our relationship to work
and a business being the priority …
Any ideas ?
Put the internet to work for you.
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