I don't know what to do.

So last term I told my housemate and friend about my feelings for her. After she found out about my feelings for her said that I was cute and she liked me a lot, well she wrote that to me in a card or something. I didn't get the card then she said the same thing to me in a WhatsApp message but added that she was not sure of her feelings for me. So before this term started we went out for coffee. She seemed to enjoy going out with me and I asked her if she was interested in going on a second date. I asked her in person and she said yes while smiling.
We, however, were awkward around each other for the whole time we "dated" each other and it didn't even seem like we were friends sometimes. I told her how I hate how awkward it was between us in a Facebook message because I told her I wanted to talk to several times that day and she kinda avoided me, or we didn't have any opportunities to talk alone. The following morning she sent me message back saying that she wants us to go back to being friends because she does miss how things used to be before she "****ed" everything up. She also said that I deserve someone better, that I'm one of her best friends so she doesn't want me to get hurt especially by her.
I talked to her in person about her message straight after seeing the message and said she's not interested anymore. She doesn't feel same way about me as I feel about her, and doesn't want to lead me on. She even used the line "it's not you it's me" and said she actually meant it in this case even though it's a bull**** phrase most of the time. Then she again said I'm too good for her or something, and I'm awesome and amazing, then implied that she's not a good person,which confused the hell outta me, plus she said doesn't have time to date people because she has a lot going on, or something to that effect.
I asked her if we took things uber slow would she reconsider dating me and she said no. I then I asked her when she knew she didn't want to continue dating me and she said she didn't know, which was a dodgy response imo. She also got a bit teary when I asked her one of the questions, I forgot which one.
The thing is she rarely gives me eye contact during group conversations when she's speaking and I don't understand why. She looks at everyone and I give her contact, but she rarely looks at me. When she does look at me she doesn't really look scared so I don't think I make her nervous, but I don't know what else it could be. When we're talking alone she does make eye contact, and I'm, like, the only in the house she talks to about her emotions. I think she only told me that she had social anxiety, even though several of us in the house have it too. I was also the first one in the house she came out to even though I knew she liked girls before and she says she enjoys talking to me, but in group conversations we never talk and she seems to not acknowledge my existence.
I'm am sad about the fact that we're not continuing to date each other, but I think I'll get over it relatively easy and I'm not harboring any bad thoughts towards her because she's hard to get and stay mad at and I respect her decision, but I'm just confused about her reasons for not continuing dating me, well I'm unsure about the validity of them or something and I'm definitely confused about why she'll hardly look at me in group conversations when she'll give everyone else plenty of eye contact. It doesn't make sense for someone to do to that to a person they call their best friend.
Should I talk to her again about things, or just the fact that she not giving me eye contact confuses me?

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via Personal Recipe 2629979

how to kepp quiet about my crush?

I have a tendency to ask my friends about what I should do when I have a crush and their advice is not always useful. Also they always ask who it is and I somehow reveal it. This causes me to lose that guy as a friend.

I have recently began thinking about someone who I only have one class with, I never used to like him as a friend but recently I began thinking of him as more than a friend, even thinking of having my first kiss with him??

On Friday we were talking about work in the lesson and when we were talking opposite each other it was ok, but when he came and sat next to me it was different.

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Adding acquaintances on Facebook?

I met this girl at camp America yesterday, who seemed lovely. I saw her full name (she told me her first name when we were talking) on a CA tweet. Would I look like a creep or a bit of a weirdo if I added her on Facebook?

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Scratched by someone I know, what to do?

My & my bf had a fight yesterday at topgolf with his friends in the car behind us, his friend Rachelle wouldn't stop yacking and so I turned around and told he to shut the hell up, at which point she got out and attacked me. I tried to push her off & some people pulled her off.
Not really sure what to do, me & my BF are on a break atm. If it doesn't work out I'd be tempted to go to the police and press charges, but not sure if I'd be able to at a later point.
Also would putting the photo on FB be a bad idea or not?Attachment 264651
Does anyone have any advice?

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Friends with benefits always ends badly

Everyone always says it's a bad idea to fool around with a friend. Obviously the worst that could happen is you fall out and stop talking. Does anyone have any good tales to tell? For e.g you fooled around and you are still friends or even a couple now

Share either good or bad stories, I'm intruiged!

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via Personal Recipe 2629979

apology for not texting me?am i just annoying him

I often start the text conversations with this guy i like but he always replies and puts effort into the conversation. He replied really late to one text I sent him and wrote how sorry he was for late reply and also how he was sorry for not not starting the conversation with me but he never knows if i should because my replies are pretty irregular... we joked about it but he hasnt text me for ages?why would he apologise and do the same thing?! its been a week!!!

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Smelly friend, how to tell them?

There is a friend within my group that frequently smells pretty bad of BO. We know he showers every day, so he either doesn't wash his clothes enough, or doesn't use deodorant.

The rest of the group have all come to the same conclusion but no one is brave enough to say anything, but we have tried bringing up the conversation of what deodorants ect people use to try give him the hint.

I feel that he needs to be told sooner or later for his (and our) sakes! But how can we tell him?!

(I would usually step up to the plate and do it, but this guy had/has a bit of a thing for me so not sure I would be the best person for the job)

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via Personal Recipe 2629979

Long distance indefinitely - What would you do?

To keep this as short as possible: Me and my boyfriend have been together since 18. We went to separate universities and did the long distance thing for 3 years (about a 3 hour train journey from each other).

We are still together now. I've graduated and I'm still looking for a full time graduate role. He is doing his 4th year and is applying for graduate schemes.

With graduate jobs up and down the country and the current economy, it's become a case of apply anywhere and move there. And it's made me realise that realistically, we're going to end up being long distance again. He's applying to very specific graduate schemes and whilst he says he'll think about me before making a decision, I could never ask that of someone. There's a high chance he will be offered a place on a Sep 2014 grad scheme before I've secured a full time grad role. Similarly, with the trouble I've been having in finding a grad job, I couldn't then just focus on applying to one city.

He thinks that we'll make it work no matter what. I'm not convinced. I remember how hard long distance was to begin with and all the problems that come with it. I naively thought that long distance would just be for the university years, I didn't even consider that going into working life it could be the same.

A job has no deadline, I don't know if I could handle the uncertainty of not knowing if and when we'll stop having to do the long journeys.

I wouldn't say either of us have major trust issues, but I'm not stupid, I know that feelings can change when you meet new people and spend more and more time with them and not with each other.

I guess what I want from you lot is to tell me what you would do. Am I thinking too far ahead or seeing things too negatively?

Girls and guys opinions are welcomed, even moreso if you've been through it.

P.S: Sorry, this turned out to be quite long.

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via Personal Recipe 2629979

Considering leaving after 18 years

My husband and I have been married for 18 years. We've both been faithful. I've thought about leaving him many times, but over the last 2 years, I've been in counselling on and off for it. The reasons:

1. We both grew up thinking it was acceptable for the husband to drink heavily. Once we began to have children, I begged him not to drink and he completely ignored my wishes. His only socializing for many years involved heavy drinking with his friends or family, and it ruined every special occasion we shared together. In the last 6 months, he has stopped this behaviour.

2. I was a stay at home mom for 10 years while I babysat extra kids and went to school to earn my degree. Raising my 3 kids was challenging, as my husband was drinking heavily and working extra hours. He rarely helped with routines and housework, and was often physically rough with our kids. He was irritable and sullen for the most part, and I felt abandoned by him during this time.

3. We had several big things happen. I finally graduated and began to work in my career, and I loved it. It fulfilled me and eased the financial strain on our family. At this time, my husband lost his job and became depressed. He gained 50 pounds, wouldn't look for another job and barely helped around the house with kids and chores. After months of this, he finally got a job working out of town for 2 weeks in, 2 weeks out. I was relieved because I needed the break from him and we needed money.

4. My 13 year old was diagnosed with high functioning autism. His behaviours were out of control and he became aggressive. I had no training on how to handle this, so I spent many late nights trying to read and learn as much as I could in order to help our son and the other kids. My husband did nothing at this time other than become angry when he came home. He completely dropped the ball and left me to deal with this. Again, I felt abandoned by him in a time that I was grieving and overwhelmed.

5. After I few years of intensive interventions, my child is now flourishing. Then my other child developed behaviours. I spent hours dealing with this, and finally found out the he had ocd type anxiety. I learned how to manage it, he was put on meds and I helped him to put into practice the things he learned in counselling. Husband did not participate in the process.

I told my husband last summer that I wanted a divorce. It was painful. He begged me to stay. I told him we'd been living in two different marriages and his memories were good while mine were not. We went for counselling and I agreed to give him some time to change his ways. During this time, he became clingy, began to grope and grab at me, and was in my personal space. I felt like I couldn't walk in my own home freely. I asked him to stop and he's cut back but he is still doing it. I feel like he does not respect my feelings.

He has changed his ways with the kids and housework. He stopped drinking. He has tried to be more connected to me emotionally.

My problem now is that he has made some huge, positive changes but despite that, I feel angry that he hadn't done this before. I feel our relationship has been severely damaged over the years to the point where I don't know if it can recover.

It's a cliche to say, but in honestly love him as a friend and co-parent, not a husband. I don't want to sleep with him. I don't want another man. I feel like I want to be in my own space with my kids.

I have three teens under 16 and don't want to move and shake up their world, but at the same time, I'm so unhappy when he's home that I become anxious, depressed and exhausted. As soon as he leaves for work, I'm happy again, energetic, and enjoying my kids.

Is it possible to recover from something like this? We've done counselling, both individually and together. We've been in this state of limbo for 6 months and it's killing both of us. I feel bad for him as he's made so many changes that I appreciate.

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I wanna do sex

This is my first time
I found a hole in my ass & I fingerd it I felt naughty but i loved it I have just 14 and I want do sex but the problem is: I'm not pretty (I have acne) & I've never been kissed & I'm vergin (here in our country the girl can't do sex until she marries)-I have a boyfriend but I can't ask him something bad
Can u help me to teach me how I can finger myself right Please

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Girlfriends Past Drug Use

Hello, I love my girlfriend very much, however something that has always bothered me about her is that before we met, she experimented with Class A drugs like cocaine, ecstasy, MDMA, as well as smoking week with her Mum, doing mushrooms with her Mum and one or two other drugs I've forgotten about.

She said she didn't like the drugs (cocaine was only tried once) which is why she doesn't touch anything any more. But my concern is that her moral compass would allow her to try street drugs in toilet cubicles in the first place. I know she tried ecstasy a few times - how many times would you need to try something to know you didn't like it? There just seems something fishy about it. I really get the impression that the rule of thumb is: she can't talk to me about it as she knows I look down upon it, however I picture her happily discussing it with her drug user friends and I picture her being very fine with that, bordering glorifying it.

One of her paticulary scummy friends recently offered her cocaine as well. She can't comprehend why this annoys me so much. But then, when you grow up doing drugs with your own Mother as a teenager, I assume your outlook on what the rest of the world may perceive as dodgy behaviour will be different. I think her Mother failed her in this regards, and cracked open the door for future drug use.

I can't talk to her about it as all she does is get angry with me for bringing it up. I will be seeing a counsellor so that I have somebody to talk with.

Has anybody else been in this situation or one similar? I'm having very negative thought ccles where everything will be fine one minute, very happy, then I'll jkust look at her and think, how the **** were ou ever popping pills and snorting drugs like a scum bag?

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Explaining this girl's actions

I was at a club with a large group of people, when one of my female friends, who I am pretty sure likes me, came up to me and told me that her friend, who we had all just met, was really up for it and had specifically told her that she wanted to sleep with me tonight.

I was stone sober at the time, as well as being slightly confused, but my friend was really persistant and asked it as a favour. I thought that I might as well as the girl was pretty fit. I went over and spoke to her, and she very much shot me down. Specifically, she asked why I had been staring at her.

I was, and still am, pretty astonished at what happened. I am not really concerned about being shot down, that is hardly a new experience but I can't understand what my friend or anyone else gained out of the entire thing.

I can only think that it was either a very bad joke, part of a some game to get me to like her or punishment for something I had done. However, we are all 21, in our final years of university and she does not seem the immature type.

Any other explanations or thoughts would be much appreciated.

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Is there a difference between beauty and attractiveness?

As the title asks :)

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Post-club etiquette

After being in a relationship for several years, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Got with a guy last night (Friday) on a night out, I ended up getting HIS number because I kind of freaked and asked for it. He seemed quite happy with this

Any advice on how to text the guy/saying what?

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why do guys ask girls for their number and then not text them for ages, if ever?!

This guy was chatting to me on linkedin and asked me if i had whatsapp. I didnt know what it was. Was he asking for my phone no?

my reply was: 'Unfortunately, I do not have whatsapp, would you recommend it? I do have a blackberry.' I sent this on wednesday this week.

Since then, he has not messaged me back.

I sent him another quick message saying: 'I have now downloaded whatsapp and my number is xxxxxx. send me a message!' I sent this yesterday on thursday and still no reply.

any ideas why I have not heard from him yet? and you think i could still expect to hear from him or should I forget about him?

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