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I left my husband and have now asked him to take me back

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I am a gay man married to my childhood sweetheart. My best friend from school age. When he came out at 16 we started dating. I had always been openly gay. I had always believed he was straight so hadn't ever considered a relationship previously but the love developed.

After 3 years we moved in together and married last year, although we have been together for 13 years now.


2 months ago I left him. I had only ever dated him or even kissed him so maybe I wanted to experience things with other people.

He was absolutely devastated at first and begged me to reconsider but my mind was made up. I moved to our second home (we have a property portfolio we rent out) 150 miles away.

Anyway, I never even ended up kissing anyone else as I felt too guilty. After just 2 months I realised what an absolute idiot I had been and ran back home. I had regretted leaving the day after I did.
I really don't know what possessed me to leave in the first place. Being married scared me a little, I felt I'd missed out by only having dated one person but it still doesn't explain it.

When I told him in person that I was sorry and an idiot he just laughed and laughed. Thought it was hilarious and informed me that he knew I would come back but wondered how long it would take as I'm stubborn at times and don't like to be wrong.

However, I feel so confused. I know I made the right choice to come back. I will never leave him again. But I don't understand why he isn't kicking up a fuss, angry with me or even ignoring me.

He's seems to find the whole thing rather funny and just keeps being really sweet and saying he knew I would return. He's currently having a good old laugh about it with his mum downstairs.

I don't want him to hate me. But I'm wondering if anyone can advise on why he is reacting this way and doesn't hate me like he should. I've been such a fool.

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