We aren't calling it separation, but we are taking space. My husbands choice.
We have been married 7 years with an almost 6 year old. We consider one another best friends, but we have had problems with our physical intimacy. My husband also said he felt emotionally abused by me which I am now realizing the things I did to cause that.
We have taken space for almost a month, but didn't set clear boundaries. He was still telling me he loved and missed me which gave me hope and also confused me. We set clear boundaries this week in marriage counseling to take a clean break. Limited contact only relating to our child. I am doing my best to respect that and am trying to be focused on giving him the time he needs.
He holds a lot of anger and resentment and hurt towards me for the things I put him through. In all honestly I wasn't intentionally trying to hurt him. I think I held anger as well for our lack of physical intimacy like he did. I have since been focused on working on myself and making changes. This last month he noticed change in me an actually complimented me.
He told me he wants to spend his life with me and can't imagine me not being in his life. He just can't come home right now. I know he does love me, but it gets confusing. I want him home. Though I do know and agree if he comes home now things wouldn't be good.
One issue is he has started seeing someone, and I do realize a lot of it is due to feeling desired. It bothers me, but I'm trying to just let it be and hope it fizzles out. He is discreet and I think it's mostly just the sex.
I know I can forgive and move past this. We have 8 weeks starting this week for our clean break and I am going to do my best to stay strong. I believe in my marriage. I am not perfect he is not perfect and we both need to change.
He is going to the therapist next week alone which I am impressed with to start working on his issues and anger. I will be going on a vacation we were supposed to take together alone, and my child will be going with a grandparent on a separate trip that we planned in conjunction. I think this will give a nice week break for him to see what it's like with no contact or access. I don't expect miracles to happen. I also think my trip alone will be good for me to separate from things a bit.
His belongings are still at my house and no discussion of divorce has ever come up and he still wears his ring. I am trying to remain positive, but I need some encouragement and hope at times.
We have been married 7 years with an almost 6 year old. We consider one another best friends, but we have had problems with our physical intimacy. My husband also said he felt emotionally abused by me which I am now realizing the things I did to cause that.
We have taken space for almost a month, but didn't set clear boundaries. He was still telling me he loved and missed me which gave me hope and also confused me. We set clear boundaries this week in marriage counseling to take a clean break. Limited contact only relating to our child. I am doing my best to respect that and am trying to be focused on giving him the time he needs.
He holds a lot of anger and resentment and hurt towards me for the things I put him through. In all honestly I wasn't intentionally trying to hurt him. I think I held anger as well for our lack of physical intimacy like he did. I have since been focused on working on myself and making changes. This last month he noticed change in me an actually complimented me.
He told me he wants to spend his life with me and can't imagine me not being in his life. He just can't come home right now. I know he does love me, but it gets confusing. I want him home. Though I do know and agree if he comes home now things wouldn't be good.
One issue is he has started seeing someone, and I do realize a lot of it is due to feeling desired. It bothers me, but I'm trying to just let it be and hope it fizzles out. He is discreet and I think it's mostly just the sex.
I know I can forgive and move past this. We have 8 weeks starting this week for our clean break and I am going to do my best to stay strong. I believe in my marriage. I am not perfect he is not perfect and we both need to change.
He is going to the therapist next week alone which I am impressed with to start working on his issues and anger. I will be going on a vacation we were supposed to take together alone, and my child will be going with a grandparent on a separate trip that we planned in conjunction. I think this will give a nice week break for him to see what it's like with no contact or access. I don't expect miracles to happen. I also think my trip alone will be good for me to separate from things a bit.
His belongings are still at my house and no discussion of divorce has ever come up and he still wears his ring. I am trying to remain positive, but I need some encouragement and hope at times.
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