I have gone from fantasizing about being single to deciding that I have to leave. I gave up a great life and career to live out in the country and have since lost my work skills. Leaving would mean moving back to another state because I don't think a future here is a viable one. I know I have to leave because i can see marriage to my husband is eventually going to end. In the mean time our resources are dwindling. His current job leaves very little for alimony. It is half what he normally makes.
I don't mind having a small place but I am afraid of living in a place where I can't support myself or find someone new. I have been out of a job for so long - I don't know where to start. The thought of it gives me anxiety. Leaving would mean moving to another state because where I live is not my ideal. I am a city girl and the type of guy that I would be interested in or interested in me doesn't live in these parts. I don't think a life here would be a great new beginning.
I am 50 years old. I don't have time for slow starts. I feel like time is running out.
I have been watching sex and the city marathon. Just watched the last show of the last season where carrie bradshaw goes to paris with the russian. She gives up her life and friends and he ends up making her feel alone because he focuses on his job and hangs out with his friends. She feels alienated because she doesn't speak the language. He says hey this is who I am. She says, she is a person and wants love and a life. So that last scene is exactly me. I moved here and found out he was alcoholic and would rather hang out with his alcoholic guy friends and put them before me. In the show she finds a hole in the lining of her purse and in it she finds the necklace she lost - the necklace has her name "carrie". She smiles and decided finally to leave him and go back to NYC. In her case, good things happen. Her ex who she really loves comes back to her and she gets her old apartment and job back.
Perhaps I could do that too...maybe I can go back to the city I use to live in and rent an apartment and start again where I left off? I want to TAKE THE LEAP!!! I want to stop being AFRAID!!!
I don't mind having a small place but I am afraid of living in a place where I can't support myself or find someone new. I have been out of a job for so long - I don't know where to start. The thought of it gives me anxiety. Leaving would mean moving to another state because where I live is not my ideal. I am a city girl and the type of guy that I would be interested in or interested in me doesn't live in these parts. I don't think a life here would be a great new beginning.
I am 50 years old. I don't have time for slow starts. I feel like time is running out.
I have been watching sex and the city marathon. Just watched the last show of the last season where carrie bradshaw goes to paris with the russian. She gives up her life and friends and he ends up making her feel alone because he focuses on his job and hangs out with his friends. She feels alienated because she doesn't speak the language. He says hey this is who I am. She says, she is a person and wants love and a life. So that last scene is exactly me. I moved here and found out he was alcoholic and would rather hang out with his alcoholic guy friends and put them before me. In the show she finds a hole in the lining of her purse and in it she finds the necklace she lost - the necklace has her name "carrie". She smiles and decided finally to leave him and go back to NYC. In her case, good things happen. Her ex who she really loves comes back to her and she gets her old apartment and job back.
Perhaps I could do that too...maybe I can go back to the city I use to live in and rent an apartment and start again where I left off? I want to TAKE THE LEAP!!! I want to stop being AFRAID!!!
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