DD8 has been diagnosed with inattentive ADD. She gets in trouble at school for talking when she isn't supposed to be talking.
She gets marks on a card when she does this. Enough marks and she has to walk laps during PE, more marks and a note comes home, etc. The consequences escalate, as they should.
So she currently is at the point where she will miss the "Fun Friday" on Halloween if she can't earn back some of the points she has lost.
I am discussing all of the above with my H and his response is, "We can tell her what to do, but she'll just forget and in a week will do it again."
Now, he doesn't come to the table with ideas on how to fix things. He waits for me to come up with a plan, which I have currently established.
But his negativity about our kids is getting on my nerves. It's like he just wants to complain about our kids but not help them. So I told him this morning that I don't like what he said about our daughter. Saying that she will "just forget in a week" is pessimistic, not helpful, and he says things like this often. I feel he is simply a complainer.
To which he says that I complain about our kids more than he does. But what he doesn't see is that I'm not complaining. I am bringing up their current behavior in a matter of fact way so that we can discuss and find solutions.
He thinks that's a bunch of hooey; that I'm complaining and this is, in his mind, another example of how I have a double standard.
How do I co-parent with someone like this? Why can't he see that his statement is negative! If I heard a teacher say that to me about my child, I would think the teacher sees my child in a negative light and they aren't really committed to correcting the issue at hand.
What can I do to right this ship? Our marriage and relationship is all but over, but we will need to successfully co-parent even after we separate and divorce, which we will be doing.
What would you do? Keep in mind that he won't see his behavior as unhelpful or negative.
She gets marks on a card when she does this. Enough marks and she has to walk laps during PE, more marks and a note comes home, etc. The consequences escalate, as they should.
So she currently is at the point where she will miss the "Fun Friday" on Halloween if she can't earn back some of the points she has lost.
I am discussing all of the above with my H and his response is, "We can tell her what to do, but she'll just forget and in a week will do it again."
Now, he doesn't come to the table with ideas on how to fix things. He waits for me to come up with a plan, which I have currently established.
But his negativity about our kids is getting on my nerves. It's like he just wants to complain about our kids but not help them. So I told him this morning that I don't like what he said about our daughter. Saying that she will "just forget in a week" is pessimistic, not helpful, and he says things like this often. I feel he is simply a complainer.
To which he says that I complain about our kids more than he does. But what he doesn't see is that I'm not complaining. I am bringing up their current behavior in a matter of fact way so that we can discuss and find solutions.
He thinks that's a bunch of hooey; that I'm complaining and this is, in his mind, another example of how I have a double standard.
How do I co-parent with someone like this? Why can't he see that his statement is negative! If I heard a teacher say that to me about my child, I would think the teacher sees my child in a negative light and they aren't really committed to correcting the issue at hand.
What can I do to right this ship? Our marriage and relationship is all but over, but we will need to successfully co-parent even after we separate and divorce, which we will be doing.
What would you do? Keep in mind that he won't see his behavior as unhelpful or negative.
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