My sister and her new fiance flew up for a meet and greet this weekend.
I hadn't seen my sister in a very long time. I just met her fiance, during their visit though knew of him since last Christmas.
Anyways, every attraction, restaurants, taxi cab, train etc. HE paid. I was fine with/appreciated that but still felt like a free-loader, especially because they already had a flight and hotel to pay for. Add to that he was paying for me and my two kids two out of three days I met with them. I offered every time to pay but he even told me, (jokingly) that it was "tacky" for him to make/let me pay.
I do consider myself kind of old fashioned in some respects. I appreciate chivalry and expect (somewhat) for a man to pay for the first date... especially if he's the asker but I also struggle when I feel I am getting more than I am giving. Top that off with that I believe in treating guests... they were guests here in my city and I wasn't "allowed" to pay for a thing (save my transport to meet them at their hotel the first night). I suppose I expected things to be more tit-for-tat. I even saved money in anticipation of their visit so I could treat them to dinner and outings etc. but never got to use it.
What do you all think? Do you think he really was happy to pay for things? Am I wrong to feel bad for not paying (I offered every time)? Anyone else here struggle with having others pay their way?
I hadn't seen my sister in a very long time. I just met her fiance, during their visit though knew of him since last Christmas.
Anyways, every attraction, restaurants, taxi cab, train etc. HE paid. I was fine with/appreciated that but still felt like a free-loader, especially because they already had a flight and hotel to pay for. Add to that he was paying for me and my two kids two out of three days I met with them. I offered every time to pay but he even told me, (jokingly) that it was "tacky" for him to make/let me pay.
I do consider myself kind of old fashioned in some respects. I appreciate chivalry and expect (somewhat) for a man to pay for the first date... especially if he's the asker but I also struggle when I feel I am getting more than I am giving. Top that off with that I believe in treating guests... they were guests here in my city and I wasn't "allowed" to pay for a thing (save my transport to meet them at their hotel the first night). I suppose I expected things to be more tit-for-tat. I even saved money in anticipation of their visit so I could treat them to dinner and outings etc. but never got to use it.
What do you all think? Do you think he really was happy to pay for things? Am I wrong to feel bad for not paying (I offered every time)? Anyone else here struggle with having others pay their way?
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