http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...ur-friend.html
Above is a link to my story, which i posted July 19-2013 (roughly 2 months after the end of my longest relationship of 12 years)
So here i am at 2:14 pm Oct 30th 2014 sitting here still not feeling back to my old self. For those who are reading this, but did not read the back story, here it is in a nutshell- I was with my ex for 12 years, we were close to getting married but never did. We lost that spark, that connection, that desire about 10 years in. We grew very far apart and hardly talked, we were essentially living as roommates . She began talking to an old friend of mine, they fell in love , i decided to do the right thing and give her what she wanted, which meant me leaving. Anyways the mental anguish and pain was extreme at first, when i would find out things about her and the new guy, ( they got married 3 months after i left). anyways it was a very difficult time in my life and I know it may not compare with divorce, when children are involved, financial connections , legal etc etc, but it was the most painful experience i have had in my life.
Time went on, i relocated i started working at a new job. I felt like each day the pain subsided a little. I allowed one woman to get close to me, that ended very quickly, and i was full of anxiety and it really showed. Over the past year i have gotten close to a few friends, one of whom was married and I needed to walk away from that friendship. In any case, I keep trying to convince myself that I am completely healed, I convince myself i feel down for other reasons. I feel so isolated from the world, i really have lost touch with everyone in my life, friends and family alike. I feel like i keep everyone at a distance because if they remain at a distance they cant cause me any pain. its been nearly 18 months since the end of my relationship and still i feel so very alone. I try my best to reach out to friends, to family and everyone has their own lives and I guess i just don't have a place in their lives. I really hate feeling this way.
I know people may suggest getting out and meeting new people, going to a meetup group, getting into activities that i love to do, but i still feel so very lost inside, and honestly have no clue what my passions are. I used to feel like i had meaning and passions in life, lately i just feel void of both. I feel very much like a robot, living day to day , getting up going to work, going home having dinner and going to sleep, doing it all over again. I guess i am wondering if anyone else has experienced this. Has anyone else felt like they were healed, convinced themselves they were healed and ready to start the next chapter of their lives , but for some reason could not turn the page in the book , so to speak? Has anyone felt disconnected from the world, from family and friends? I just want to feel normal again, I don't really care about making millions of dollars , or having a huge house, or a wife and kids, at this point i am quite sure that will never happen anyways, i honestly just want to have peace of mind, to feel alive once again, to feel passion about something, anything at all. :(
i know this post is rather broad in spectrum, but i am just looking for some support from any who have experienced similar things after the end of a relationship ( in my mind well after the end, nearly 2 years , geesh):scratchhead:
Above is a link to my story, which i posted July 19-2013 (roughly 2 months after the end of my longest relationship of 12 years)
So here i am at 2:14 pm Oct 30th 2014 sitting here still not feeling back to my old self. For those who are reading this, but did not read the back story, here it is in a nutshell- I was with my ex for 12 years, we were close to getting married but never did. We lost that spark, that connection, that desire about 10 years in. We grew very far apart and hardly talked, we were essentially living as roommates . She began talking to an old friend of mine, they fell in love , i decided to do the right thing and give her what she wanted, which meant me leaving. Anyways the mental anguish and pain was extreme at first, when i would find out things about her and the new guy, ( they got married 3 months after i left). anyways it was a very difficult time in my life and I know it may not compare with divorce, when children are involved, financial connections , legal etc etc, but it was the most painful experience i have had in my life.
Time went on, i relocated i started working at a new job. I felt like each day the pain subsided a little. I allowed one woman to get close to me, that ended very quickly, and i was full of anxiety and it really showed. Over the past year i have gotten close to a few friends, one of whom was married and I needed to walk away from that friendship. In any case, I keep trying to convince myself that I am completely healed, I convince myself i feel down for other reasons. I feel so isolated from the world, i really have lost touch with everyone in my life, friends and family alike. I feel like i keep everyone at a distance because if they remain at a distance they cant cause me any pain. its been nearly 18 months since the end of my relationship and still i feel so very alone. I try my best to reach out to friends, to family and everyone has their own lives and I guess i just don't have a place in their lives. I really hate feeling this way.
I know people may suggest getting out and meeting new people, going to a meetup group, getting into activities that i love to do, but i still feel so very lost inside, and honestly have no clue what my passions are. I used to feel like i had meaning and passions in life, lately i just feel void of both. I feel very much like a robot, living day to day , getting up going to work, going home having dinner and going to sleep, doing it all over again. I guess i am wondering if anyone else has experienced this. Has anyone else felt like they were healed, convinced themselves they were healed and ready to start the next chapter of their lives , but for some reason could not turn the page in the book , so to speak? Has anyone felt disconnected from the world, from family and friends? I just want to feel normal again, I don't really care about making millions of dollars , or having a huge house, or a wife and kids, at this point i am quite sure that will never happen anyways, i honestly just want to have peace of mind, to feel alive once again, to feel passion about something, anything at all. :(
i know this post is rather broad in spectrum, but i am just looking for some support from any who have experienced similar things after the end of a relationship ( in my mind well after the end, nearly 2 years , geesh):scratchhead:
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