Hey all,
I'm new to the board, and could really use some advice.
I met my husband six years ago, and we have been together ever since. Three years ago, I sold everything I owned and moved to another country to be with him. Crazy... I know. Then because of the visa restrictions, I wasn't allowed to work here for an entire year. We were both aware of this before I came over, but I didn't fully realize what I was getting myself into.
Basically, my husband started to control my entire life. Because he knew I was here alone, with no family or friends, and no money to leave. That first year of my marriage was the hardest of my life. I cried almost every single day... and some of our fights turned physical.
However as time went on, I was able to work and gain some of my control back. And I tried to stick it out with my husband and make it work. I do want to say that he isn't a monster, but he does have extreme anger issues. He was abused by his father as a child, and his mother isn't any better, and it really screwed him up. I know he loves me more than anything, and he tells me so all the time. But he refuses to get help for his anger and control issues, and I am at my wits end.
I think emotionally, I checked out of the marriage a long time ago. When I think about leaving him, the only thing I can think of is how guilty I feel because he will be all alone. I'm literally the only good thing he has in his life... and I hate that. I hate that he is so dependent on me for his happiness. I feel trapped and suffocated.
Even though none of our fights have been physical in a long time, he is still emotionally abusive and my self esteem has taken a huge hit since I've been with him. Most of the time he says he is joking, but it's not funny to me, and I just feel like **** all the time.
I struggled with severe depression as a teenager, and I prided myself on the fact that I learned how to cope with it naturally and finally got off all the pills. But for the last few weeks, it's just hit me like a ton of bricks again. I can't get out of bed, I can't do anything. I am so sad... and I hate that I think I have to go back on the pills again.
I actually almost wish that he would just cheat on me or find someone else, so I could use that as my reason to leave. I know it sounds ridiculous, but he doesn't see why I am so sad. He doesn't think he needs to get help and refuses to do so. I feel like I don't have any way out of this situation, and I am so afraid of making the wrong decision.
Can someone please give me some helpful advice here? I am willing to listen to anything at this point. I have nobody in my life I can talk to about this, so I would really appreciate it.
Thanks in advance,
K
I'm new to the board, and could really use some advice.
I met my husband six years ago, and we have been together ever since. Three years ago, I sold everything I owned and moved to another country to be with him. Crazy... I know. Then because of the visa restrictions, I wasn't allowed to work here for an entire year. We were both aware of this before I came over, but I didn't fully realize what I was getting myself into.
Basically, my husband started to control my entire life. Because he knew I was here alone, with no family or friends, and no money to leave. That first year of my marriage was the hardest of my life. I cried almost every single day... and some of our fights turned physical.
However as time went on, I was able to work and gain some of my control back. And I tried to stick it out with my husband and make it work. I do want to say that he isn't a monster, but he does have extreme anger issues. He was abused by his father as a child, and his mother isn't any better, and it really screwed him up. I know he loves me more than anything, and he tells me so all the time. But he refuses to get help for his anger and control issues, and I am at my wits end.
I think emotionally, I checked out of the marriage a long time ago. When I think about leaving him, the only thing I can think of is how guilty I feel because he will be all alone. I'm literally the only good thing he has in his life... and I hate that. I hate that he is so dependent on me for his happiness. I feel trapped and suffocated.
Even though none of our fights have been physical in a long time, he is still emotionally abusive and my self esteem has taken a huge hit since I've been with him. Most of the time he says he is joking, but it's not funny to me, and I just feel like **** all the time.
I struggled with severe depression as a teenager, and I prided myself on the fact that I learned how to cope with it naturally and finally got off all the pills. But for the last few weeks, it's just hit me like a ton of bricks again. I can't get out of bed, I can't do anything. I am so sad... and I hate that I think I have to go back on the pills again.
I actually almost wish that he would just cheat on me or find someone else, so I could use that as my reason to leave. I know it sounds ridiculous, but he doesn't see why I am so sad. He doesn't think he needs to get help and refuses to do so. I feel like I don't have any way out of this situation, and I am so afraid of making the wrong decision.
Can someone please give me some helpful advice here? I am willing to listen to anything at this point. I have nobody in my life I can talk to about this, so I would really appreciate it.
Thanks in advance,
K
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