I really don't know what to do.
I'll keep this short and sweet.
Last year I fell in love with my flatmate. I don't know when it happened, it just did at some point in the year. We got together a couple of times, but every time afterwards he would tell me that he didn't feel the same way about me and that it could never happen again, but no matter how long between, it did happen again. He and I weren't really on speaking terms at the end of last year, mainly because I was annoyed because he and I had gotten together right before my birthday, then he went to visit a friend in Lincoln, got with her flatmate and then the weekend after invited this guy to visit. So over the summer we texted a bit, but drifted apart. He came to visit with another friend from uni, and he and i ended up kissing on a night out, after which he burst into tears. He never told me why until one day he called me up out of the blue and confessed he had feelings for me. This threw me into a panic, did he feel the same way? Did he finally want to be together? What was goi ng to happen next year?
So this year started, we were living together and we began getting intimate again. He kept trying to explain how he felt and that he didn't want anything to happen in case he pushed me away, he was scared of relationships and commitment etc etc... It got to the point where I couldn't take being messed around like that anymore, and when I found out that one of our housemates had set him up with one of her friends, I decided to move out. I've been staying at friends houses for the past fortnight and I just need someone to replace me in that house. He and I have barely spoken since, but I know he's been talking about me to our mutual friends, he misses me, doesn't want to lose me blah blah blah.
I don't know whether he's seeing this guy he was set up with, it hurts because he said he couldn't have a relationship with anyone this year (He's going away to Italy next year) and yet he's actively pursuing one with someone else. Clearly I was the problem.
He asked for advice recently on whether he made the right decision for the two of us not to be together, to which he was told "Don't do anything this year, but after you're back from Italy, see how you feel then and go from there".
We were so close, he was my best friend, I don't want to let him go, but I feel like he'll just move on, if he hasn't already. What do I do?
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