Whats wrong with me regarding relationships?

In terms of platonic and romantic relationships but predominantly the latter.I've never had a boyfriend/very shy/NBK etc.. and I constantly see my friends get hit on by guys/get boyfriends/general light flirtation with guys and I'm happy for them however if anything like that happens with me (very very rarely but is at the moment) I tend to panic and want to push them away even though I would like to get to know someone as I dont understand why someone would like me atall (in that way or or just friends low self esteem ftw) and am wary of how to proceed. This state of confusion and fear of the unknown continues into other aspects of life too sadly. Essentially,I see people having all these positive experiences but feel more comfortable(or at least tell myself I do) sitting on the sidelines observing rather than allowing them into my own life(even if I want to) It's certainly a lack of confidence but what do I do?

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979