Husband getting desperate

Quick facts: Husband here. Been married for 19 years. Have 3 kids. One is 18 years old. I'm the sole income earner for our family. Been having an issue for awhile now that is getting worse imo and I've taken some actions but I dont know if its the right thing to do or not. I found out when my son was 16-17 that he was smoking cigarettes. Also found out that my wife was buying them for him (paying for them too). I asked her to stop that I disagreed totally with it. She never stopped. About 6 months ago my son came to me and wanted me to lend his friend $150, I said no thats not something I want to be involved in. He went to my wife and got her on me about it. I still said no. So she took the money from our line of credit and gave it to his friend behind my back. Of course we never saw the money again. I was furious. I changed the password on our web banking. The line of credit is in my name so she couldn't transfer anything out anymore. This hasn't stopped her. She would still buy his smokes and give him cash from our grocery money. So I cracked down on that going along with her now to buy groceries and accounting for all that money. Sometimes she would take my credit card while I was sleeping and buy them for him, so I'm hiding that now. She drives him around looking for smokers so he can bum smokes from them. Two days ago he asked me for money. Please keep in mind he's 18 now, not in school anymore and not working. I said no. So of course my wife starts in on me. I stick to my guns and say no. So she goes to the bank and withdraws it from our mortgage payment and gives it to him. The only account she access to now. I'm at my wits end. I'm now debating closing that last account so she'll have zero access to money. I HATE this. I feel like garbage, the money dictator. But I dont know what to do. She says its not just my money but I refuse to have no say in what happens to the money I earn. Am I doing the right thing cutting off the money? I've talked to her about it, she doesnt care what I think. She'll do ANYTHING my son asks her.

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