Feeling alone and depressed, please help! :( This is my last resort

Hey everybody, I fell in love with a boy at University. He became the best friend I have ever had. I hadn't had a best friend for 8 years because at secondary school I had no friends and was bullied everyday. We supported each other all through our first year at uni - writing essays together, doing homework together and we spent almost every night together at uni. We were both certain that we would never split up and this summer he told me that he wanted to propose to me and be with me forever. However, I have a serious mental illness. The doctors believe that I have a cross between Borderline Personality Disorder and Bi Polar. These illnesses were caused by suffering from horrendous abuse by many different people in my childhood. I would tell my boyfriend about this abuse in so much detail and he knows things that nobody else in the world knows. I couldn't handle the best and continued to have breakdowns and self harmed even though he was the best person in the world and supported me. He broke up with me last week because he couldn't deal with the breakdowns or self harm anymore because it's too much for him. I know he still cares about me and that he still loves me but he just can't handle me. I find it so difficult especially with potentially having BPD because I feel alone and abandoned. Last night I was rushed into hospital because I wanted to kill myself, I had to wait for 4 hours to see the crisis team and was in a terrible state. I texted him pleading for help saying that I'm in more pain than I have ever been in my life but he never replied. I know it must be terrible for him and feel so guilty but I have no one else that knows about these things :( But he texted me at 2am last night saying "I don't want to lose you, please get help, for everyone" Anyway, I have an appointment with the mental health doctor in a few hours, which will hopefully lead to a concrete diagnosis and therapy. Do you think that my boyfriend will ever want me back again, especially if I'm now taking steps to heal? I know that I was the best friend he ever had and everybody at uni thought we'd be that one couple that lasted together. I just want to know if I have a chance, he's not texting me again. Please help I'm at breaking point :(

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