i need advice. I know my husband loves me and wants me — if I don't have sex with him at least every other day, he passive aggressively lets me know about it. So, I know he wants to be with me normally…
But…when he knows that "I" want him…and he's busy or preoccupied with work anger (he is always mad about something)…he makes it a game.
Well, last night I almost stormed out of the house. Was I being too sensitive?
All day he was angry about work. He was swearing left and right and he knows I don't like it when he's so venomous. I tried to ignore it as much as possible. But, he would look at me and ask why I wasn't paying attention to him or why I didn't "look happy". I said I am happy…I'm just working and I am trying to stay out of the line of fire.
He said that I never "look happy". I said I do! I just don't "look happy" when you are swearing and angry and screaming. He said I'm not screaming at you…I said I know, but you are still very, very mad and it makes the day uncomfortable.
Anyway, this weird behavior lasted most of the day with him. He keeps saying that I am quiet — distant — he was analyzing my faces, saying I look very detracted from him.
So at the end of the night - he made a comment that I was still working, so I stopped and I went to the couch with him. He told me he was working…but put down his computer. I asked him for a neck rub…he kind of ignored my request. Then I said…let's go to bed. He said okay …well, I need to send another email. So, I said okay….and I grabbed my phone and got on twitter until he was done.
He jumped up and said "see - always on social media…can't just be with me." I said NO! I'm waiting for you to get done. He said that I didn't love him…that I was very cold to him …blah blah blah.
So I said — please stop this. He launched into "i'm not playing your games. You have a problem…you like to pick fights and it's not working with me tonight. I don't play your game."
I said there's no game…I want you…I want to be close to you…I want you to come to bed. I want you to stop this anger! Please!
So he comes to the bathroom and is still telling me that I am playing some silly game that he's sick of.
I rush to bed and I am crying at this point. He tells me to stop crying and I ask him to hold onto me. (mind you..I'm wearing something for him!) So he holds onto me and starts sleeping.
I said "so I guess you are just going to sleep?" He said "well look at you…you don't even touch me." I started to get upset. I said, I want you! I told you I want you. I asked you to please come to bed. I then said, could you please put the dog in the bathroom (code for …let's be together).
He said "great, now I'm your robot."
Then said that if I want to have him...I needed to start looking at my actions and I need to "ask him nicely for sex". I got VERY angry.
I started screaming — I should not have to ask "nicely" to be with my husband. And I certainly don't want you to think you are my "robot". What a slap in the face!
He then said he was a "problem solver" and if I didn't want to be there…"let's figure out a solution…"
I freaked out — NOW he wants to kick me out of the house????
He then started telling me he though he was having a heart attack and his arm was going numb and his blood pressure was up. So being the loving wife I am…I started rubbing his back and calming him down.
He went to sleep and woke up telling me that I am the love of his life and he just can't understand why I can't be appreciative of him and LOOK happy and have a smile on my face always.
He says he always loves being with me …but he doesn't do well with me asking for it.
WHAT am I to think????
But…when he knows that "I" want him…and he's busy or preoccupied with work anger (he is always mad about something)…he makes it a game.
Well, last night I almost stormed out of the house. Was I being too sensitive?
All day he was angry about work. He was swearing left and right and he knows I don't like it when he's so venomous. I tried to ignore it as much as possible. But, he would look at me and ask why I wasn't paying attention to him or why I didn't "look happy". I said I am happy…I'm just working and I am trying to stay out of the line of fire.
He said that I never "look happy". I said I do! I just don't "look happy" when you are swearing and angry and screaming. He said I'm not screaming at you…I said I know, but you are still very, very mad and it makes the day uncomfortable.
Anyway, this weird behavior lasted most of the day with him. He keeps saying that I am quiet — distant — he was analyzing my faces, saying I look very detracted from him.
So at the end of the night - he made a comment that I was still working, so I stopped and I went to the couch with him. He told me he was working…but put down his computer. I asked him for a neck rub…he kind of ignored my request. Then I said…let's go to bed. He said okay …well, I need to send another email. So, I said okay….and I grabbed my phone and got on twitter until he was done.
He jumped up and said "see - always on social media…can't just be with me." I said NO! I'm waiting for you to get done. He said that I didn't love him…that I was very cold to him …blah blah blah.
So I said — please stop this. He launched into "i'm not playing your games. You have a problem…you like to pick fights and it's not working with me tonight. I don't play your game."
I said there's no game…I want you…I want to be close to you…I want you to come to bed. I want you to stop this anger! Please!
So he comes to the bathroom and is still telling me that I am playing some silly game that he's sick of.
I rush to bed and I am crying at this point. He tells me to stop crying and I ask him to hold onto me. (mind you..I'm wearing something for him!) So he holds onto me and starts sleeping.
I said "so I guess you are just going to sleep?" He said "well look at you…you don't even touch me." I started to get upset. I said, I want you! I told you I want you. I asked you to please come to bed. I then said, could you please put the dog in the bathroom (code for …let's be together).
He said "great, now I'm your robot."
Then said that if I want to have him...I needed to start looking at my actions and I need to "ask him nicely for sex". I got VERY angry.
I started screaming — I should not have to ask "nicely" to be with my husband. And I certainly don't want you to think you are my "robot". What a slap in the face!
He then said he was a "problem solver" and if I didn't want to be there…"let's figure out a solution…"
I freaked out — NOW he wants to kick me out of the house????
He then started telling me he though he was having a heart attack and his arm was going numb and his blood pressure was up. So being the loving wife I am…I started rubbing his back and calming him down.
He went to sleep and woke up telling me that I am the love of his life and he just can't understand why I can't be appreciative of him and LOOK happy and have a smile on my face always.
He says he always loves being with me …but he doesn't do well with me asking for it.
WHAT am I to think????
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment