So, my husband has this cousin. She lives in a different state, and I've never met her personally. I've only talked to her a little bit on Facebook.
A few years ago, she and my mother-in-law got into an argument, not sure what it was about. They got really upset with each other to the point that my mother-in-law blocked her on Facebook and my husband's cousin changed her phone number. They both pretty much cut off contact with each other.
Recently, my husband's cousin has been messaging him on Facebook asking him to tell his mom that she wants to talk to her. The first time she messaged him, we were in the hospital and I had just given birth to our son. My husband put a picture of our son on Facebook, announcing his birth, and she put a comment saying something along the lines of "oh he's so cute, hey tell your mom I want to talk to her". Keep in mind, his mom was NOT at the hospital with us. Just like his cousin, his mother also lives in a different state, so we rarely ever see her except maybe once or twice a year on holidays.
I had been in labor for over 24 hours, my epidural didn't work, had to have a c section, my husband and I both were sleep deprived and yet she thought this would be the best time to ask my husband for a favor. So anyway, he just ignored her and didn't reply.
I guess since she didn't have any luck with my husband she decided to try me. Last night she Facebook messaged me and it went something like this.
Her: hey could you please do me a favor and tell your mother in law that I want to talk to her. Tell her I don't want to argue, I just want to talk. I miss talking to her and don't want her to be mad at me anymore, please tell her that. My number is ________, tell her to call me.
Me: well since we don't live near her anymore, I don't see her or talk to her much. I'm pretty busy with the baby and everything, I don't have a lot of spare time. I'm not sure what you and her have going on but I'd really prefer to just not get involved anyway.
Her: I didn't know it took a lot of time to make a phone call. That's ok, thanks anyway. And you don't have to be so rude!
Me: I wasn't trying to be rude, just being honest. I'm not going to be your messenger for you. If she wants to talk to you, she knows how to reach you.
Her: I didn't want you to get involved,I just needed you to give her my number. And no she doesn't know how to reach me. I changed my number, that's why I wanted you to give her my new one. If she calls me then that's great. If she doesn't, that's ok too. It's no big deal.
Me: she knows you have a Facebook, she can always contact you there if she wants to.
Her: no she blocked me. (So?! She can unblock you!) I wouldn't have asked if I knew it would be a problem. Just don't worry about it.
She said don't worry about it so I didn't respond any further. When I checked my facebook a bit later, I noticed she unfriended me. So she tells me not to worry about it as if everything is fine but then she unfriends me. Makes no sense. Then right after that, my husband said she messaged him yet again asking him to tell his mom to call her. He still gave her no response.
I don't think I was being rude, I was just being blunt with her so she would get the picture. The point that I was trying to make is that I have a 3 month old, my husband works 70+hours a week, I really don't have much spare time. And the little bit of time that I do have, I'm not going to spend it relaying messages back and forth between her and my mother in law. That's their thing and I don't want to be a part of it. But she just totally disregarded the fact that I have a baby, or that maybe I have my own stuff going on and don't want to be bothered with her drama. She didn't care that it would be an inconvenience to me at all, as long as she got what she wanted. She rarely ever even talked to me before, and one of the few times that she does, she wants a favor. Then when I refuse to do it, she unfriends me and has no interest in talking to me anymore.
My husband said she's crazy and he was proud of me for speaking my mind. He says there's nothing wrong with setting boundaries. If I don't want to do something all I have to say is no, and I don't owe anyone any further explanation. Just looking for some objective opinions on this. Do you think I handled it well? Was I rude? And if she ever tries to add me again as a friend should I accept or am I better off without a person like her in my life?
A few years ago, she and my mother-in-law got into an argument, not sure what it was about. They got really upset with each other to the point that my mother-in-law blocked her on Facebook and my husband's cousin changed her phone number. They both pretty much cut off contact with each other.
Recently, my husband's cousin has been messaging him on Facebook asking him to tell his mom that she wants to talk to her. The first time she messaged him, we were in the hospital and I had just given birth to our son. My husband put a picture of our son on Facebook, announcing his birth, and she put a comment saying something along the lines of "oh he's so cute, hey tell your mom I want to talk to her". Keep in mind, his mom was NOT at the hospital with us. Just like his cousin, his mother also lives in a different state, so we rarely ever see her except maybe once or twice a year on holidays.
I had been in labor for over 24 hours, my epidural didn't work, had to have a c section, my husband and I both were sleep deprived and yet she thought this would be the best time to ask my husband for a favor. So anyway, he just ignored her and didn't reply.
I guess since she didn't have any luck with my husband she decided to try me. Last night she Facebook messaged me and it went something like this.
Her: hey could you please do me a favor and tell your mother in law that I want to talk to her. Tell her I don't want to argue, I just want to talk. I miss talking to her and don't want her to be mad at me anymore, please tell her that. My number is ________, tell her to call me.
Me: well since we don't live near her anymore, I don't see her or talk to her much. I'm pretty busy with the baby and everything, I don't have a lot of spare time. I'm not sure what you and her have going on but I'd really prefer to just not get involved anyway.
Her: I didn't know it took a lot of time to make a phone call. That's ok, thanks anyway. And you don't have to be so rude!
Me: I wasn't trying to be rude, just being honest. I'm not going to be your messenger for you. If she wants to talk to you, she knows how to reach you.
Her: I didn't want you to get involved,I just needed you to give her my number. And no she doesn't know how to reach me. I changed my number, that's why I wanted you to give her my new one. If she calls me then that's great. If she doesn't, that's ok too. It's no big deal.
Me: she knows you have a Facebook, she can always contact you there if she wants to.
Her: no she blocked me. (So?! She can unblock you!) I wouldn't have asked if I knew it would be a problem. Just don't worry about it.
She said don't worry about it so I didn't respond any further. When I checked my facebook a bit later, I noticed she unfriended me. So she tells me not to worry about it as if everything is fine but then she unfriends me. Makes no sense. Then right after that, my husband said she messaged him yet again asking him to tell his mom to call her. He still gave her no response.
I don't think I was being rude, I was just being blunt with her so she would get the picture. The point that I was trying to make is that I have a 3 month old, my husband works 70+hours a week, I really don't have much spare time. And the little bit of time that I do have, I'm not going to spend it relaying messages back and forth between her and my mother in law. That's their thing and I don't want to be a part of it. But she just totally disregarded the fact that I have a baby, or that maybe I have my own stuff going on and don't want to be bothered with her drama. She didn't care that it would be an inconvenience to me at all, as long as she got what she wanted. She rarely ever even talked to me before, and one of the few times that she does, she wants a favor. Then when I refuse to do it, she unfriends me and has no interest in talking to me anymore.
My husband said she's crazy and he was proud of me for speaking my mind. He says there's nothing wrong with setting boundaries. If I don't want to do something all I have to say is no, and I don't owe anyone any further explanation. Just looking for some objective opinions on this. Do you think I handled it well? Was I rude? And if she ever tries to add me again as a friend should I accept or am I better off without a person like her in my life?
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