Looking for advice on a next step. Super condensed version:
I left with kids for long camping weekend.
Saturday - Wife went to friends for dinner - I can validate by asking friends.
I had called at 8:15pm, no answer.
I called again at 10:04 and 10:15 (I suspected she was out) - no answer.
Friend of friends, male going through divorce, sends her a facebook
message at 10:26pm "Hey, where r u". No response from her on facebook messenger.
She calls back at 10:28 - "sorry I was sleeping, ringer was off". It is quiet in the background. We hang up (my mistake, should have validated her location somehow but I expected a revealing response on FB - nothing, so in hindsight no response because they were together - f'd up).
Fast forward today and I guess her iPhone code to check. No messages or phone calls, but I go to iphone email and there is a notice from iCloud that "find my iphone has been disabled" had been turned off - at 10:38pm on that same Saturday (why I think there was no response and they met somewhere).
I know the OM has sent her facebook messages, and she has replied, but they are deleted so fast I caught only a few (I was logged into her messenger on my phone).
Why snoop? Been cheated on by her in the past.
She was spooked two days later as she started bombarding me with calls/texts that I was ignoring while on last day of camp. She then went into cover up mode, de-activated facebook. So I don't know how her radar went off that I was on to her, had to be my attitude as I didn't confront and she had no idea how I was monitoring. I f'd up with her radar before I got anything more concrete and now she knows I know they have talked/met.
So... I'm 99% that she met him after they had dinner at mutual friends house, finding out what/where will be tough but I have to know as it equals divorce.
Because she knows some of my methods from a few years ago on how I caught her she is cautious (using facebook messenger instead of phone txt because they aren't logged), and will be incommunicado with him now.
Do I confront him and ask him to "confirm her story where they met", don't give any details and hope he fesses up? Any other ideas for next step? She will never just come clean without evidence, and I am out of historical data.
2 kids, married 15+
I left with kids for long camping weekend.
Saturday - Wife went to friends for dinner - I can validate by asking friends.
I had called at 8:15pm, no answer.
I called again at 10:04 and 10:15 (I suspected she was out) - no answer.
Friend of friends, male going through divorce, sends her a facebook
message at 10:26pm "Hey, where r u". No response from her on facebook messenger.
She calls back at 10:28 - "sorry I was sleeping, ringer was off". It is quiet in the background. We hang up (my mistake, should have validated her location somehow but I expected a revealing response on FB - nothing, so in hindsight no response because they were together - f'd up).
Fast forward today and I guess her iPhone code to check. No messages or phone calls, but I go to iphone email and there is a notice from iCloud that "find my iphone has been disabled" had been turned off - at 10:38pm on that same Saturday (why I think there was no response and they met somewhere).
I know the OM has sent her facebook messages, and she has replied, but they are deleted so fast I caught only a few (I was logged into her messenger on my phone).
Why snoop? Been cheated on by her in the past.
She was spooked two days later as she started bombarding me with calls/texts that I was ignoring while on last day of camp. She then went into cover up mode, de-activated facebook. So I don't know how her radar went off that I was on to her, had to be my attitude as I didn't confront and she had no idea how I was monitoring. I f'd up with her radar before I got anything more concrete and now she knows I know they have talked/met.
So... I'm 99% that she met him after they had dinner at mutual friends house, finding out what/where will be tough but I have to know as it equals divorce.
Because she knows some of my methods from a few years ago on how I caught her she is cautious (using facebook messenger instead of phone txt because they aren't logged), and will be incommunicado with him now.
Do I confront him and ask him to "confirm her story where they met", don't give any details and hope he fesses up? Any other ideas for next step? She will never just come clean without evidence, and I am out of historical data.
2 kids, married 15+
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