I have known my husband my entire life. We have only been together 8 years and married for 4 years. I am 31 and he is 37. We had nearly a picture perfect relationship. In the first 7 years we had been together, I could count on one hand how many disagreements we had. (we never fought) we complimented each other well and were best friends that fell head over heels in love. We have 2 children, one is 9 and from a previous relationship of his and the other is 3, our child we had together. When I became pregnant, I gained 92lbs, my husband told me he loves me every day, but would not touch me. I spent nearly 1.5 years crying bc I thought that my weight had ruined my perfect marriage. I went to him during this time and asked why....his response...."I'm just not feeling it" After I had my son, I breastfed and could not lose any weight while I breastfed. (other than the weight lost in the hospital, which was 20lbs) I weened him at 7 months, and within 7 more months I dropped all my baby weight. And poof, he can't keep his hands off me. Although, I was relieved to have his attention again, my trust was shaken. I began asking myself, how could a man that couldn't and wouldn't go one week without sex go Two years and only have sec twice??? I didn't dig or investigate, I looked at it 2 ways: 1. I gained an enormous amount of weight (it's my fault) and 2. If he had cheated on me, I wasn't going to leave, he is the father of my child
Fast forward two years later:
My husband has had heart problems since he was a young boy and it landed him in the hospital. He is a small business owner and i was a stay at home mom since my son was born, he was just over 2 years old when my husband went into AFIB. (up until my son was born I worked retail full time) We only had private insurance and it didn't cover much. I knew I had to go back to work so my husband could get the best healthcare. I accepted another job in retail working and average of 55-60 hours per week. After 28 months of staying home, I was back at it again. With 2 kids, 2 full-time jobs, a house full of chores and health issues, you can guess what I didn't feel like doing. At first I didn't think much of it. He had always accused me of cheating (i never have) but now it was once a month. He would not help me with house chores at all. So I worked all day and sometimes night, came home to an extremely messy house and accusations of being unfaithful. Before I knew it, we had a major fi ght....he is putting holes in walls, destroying furniture, ripping off curtains and saying ugly and nasty things to me....I couldn't believe this man, he had once been the sweetest, kindest, most loving and patient man that I had ever met....this fight was in 2014. I thought maybe he is having a hard time adjusting and over time everything will work out....I couldn't have been more wrong. The erratic behavior worsened, the destructive behavior continues and the nasty comments continued. And I of course was not wanting to have sex anymore. He now bullied me into it, saying if he doesn't have sex, the mean behavior will get worse.....I have never felt so violated and scared in my life. I cannot talk to him, when I tell him he has hurt me, he denies everything and somehow blames me for everything. He of course only days and does these things behind closed doors, everyone else thinks he's the same wonderful man......we tried counseling, but he would just slam me and make it all about how I'm withholding sex and making him feel bad. Which is a lie, I wish I could still withhold it....but he controls everything, I can't leave the house by myself without being accused of cheating. He goes thru my phone, texts, emails, social media and call logs....I have no privacy. He moved me away from my family 7 years ago and my only friend lives on the other side of the country. In completely alienated and miserable. I keep hoping one day he will wake up and be the man I married and not this angry, mean, tempermental controlling man that has been sleeping next to me for the last year. Will I ever get my husband back?????
Fast forward two years later:
My husband has had heart problems since he was a young boy and it landed him in the hospital. He is a small business owner and i was a stay at home mom since my son was born, he was just over 2 years old when my husband went into AFIB. (up until my son was born I worked retail full time) We only had private insurance and it didn't cover much. I knew I had to go back to work so my husband could get the best healthcare. I accepted another job in retail working and average of 55-60 hours per week. After 28 months of staying home, I was back at it again. With 2 kids, 2 full-time jobs, a house full of chores and health issues, you can guess what I didn't feel like doing. At first I didn't think much of it. He had always accused me of cheating (i never have) but now it was once a month. He would not help me with house chores at all. So I worked all day and sometimes night, came home to an extremely messy house and accusations of being unfaithful. Before I knew it, we had a major fi ght....he is putting holes in walls, destroying furniture, ripping off curtains and saying ugly and nasty things to me....I couldn't believe this man, he had once been the sweetest, kindest, most loving and patient man that I had ever met....this fight was in 2014. I thought maybe he is having a hard time adjusting and over time everything will work out....I couldn't have been more wrong. The erratic behavior worsened, the destructive behavior continues and the nasty comments continued. And I of course was not wanting to have sex anymore. He now bullied me into it, saying if he doesn't have sex, the mean behavior will get worse.....I have never felt so violated and scared in my life. I cannot talk to him, when I tell him he has hurt me, he denies everything and somehow blames me for everything. He of course only days and does these things behind closed doors, everyone else thinks he's the same wonderful man......we tried counseling, but he would just slam me and make it all about how I'm withholding sex and making him feel bad. Which is a lie, I wish I could still withhold it....but he controls everything, I can't leave the house by myself without being accused of cheating. He goes thru my phone, texts, emails, social media and call logs....I have no privacy. He moved me away from my family 7 years ago and my only friend lives on the other side of the country. In completely alienated and miserable. I keep hoping one day he will wake up and be the man I married and not this angry, mean, tempermental controlling man that has been sleeping next to me for the last year. Will I ever get my husband back?????
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