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"Feminine" men sometimes disgust me - sexist?

I've had male friends (mostly straight) who were:

  • bitchy in a passive aggressive sense (giving out backhanded compliments and subtle insults by the dozen)
  • gossipy (but would never admit the rumours I knew for sure they'd been spreading about me to my face)
  • really vain and shallow (not just about girls but also themselves - i.e. they'd spend hours gelling their hair and moisturising and always wear really expensive brands and they'd criticise everyone else's fashion style. Some were really handsome and often dropped into conversation how they knew they had "model looks".)
  • oversensitive and emotional (one day they'd be really nice to me, the next they wouldn't, just because of the way they felt)
  • always acting like they were personally insulted by the slightest bit of stereotypically "masculine" (e.g. confident/straight talking) behaviour, even from me - I couldn't even stand up for a friend once without them complaining about me "killing the b uzz"
  • unambitious and passive and hated those who weren't, to the point of laughing at me when I had a 2:1 in my first year even though the guys in question all had 2:2s
  • interested in me but expected me to do a ridiculous amount of the chasing - they'd flirt a tiny bit in a "shy" kind of way and then play around and almost be coquettish, and get upset at me and sulk if I did the slightest thing "wrong" including not spending enough time talking to them because I was in a hurry! Or they would stare for minutes on end but never approach, and glance away if I looked back at them.

I prefer associating with guys who are more supposedly manly, even the "laddish" types - it's not just a case of being more interested in them either, they're just more straight talking and easier to relate to. I also vastly prefer having female friends who lack the above qualities.

But I've realised I'm more willing to put up with this behaviour in female friends than I am in male ones (perhaps because it may sometimes seem more common)?

I realise that anyone can have these traits, but some of them (being gossipy as opposed to rude to your face) is often seen as stereotypically feminine as well as a bad trait. So does this make me prejudiced against stereotypically "bad feminine" men/sexist? Or does anyone else act the same way?


And how do I get on better with those types of guys? I find them really sensitive, it feels impossible to be honest with them as you always feel like you are walking on eggshells.




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