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Does experience make for a better counselor?

Does it help or hinder that a counselor has experienced the issues they are couonseling? Can a counselor truly be able to help and advise as to what is needed or should be done in a given situation having never experienced it themselves? I know one doesn't have to have been an addict to effectively counsel addiction, but doesn't it seem that it can help to offer the client (and thus the association between the counselor and client) a level of connection and understanding that can't have been gained otherwise?

Does it seem that counselors that have never experienced an issue themselves, such as adultery, infidelity, or addiction, have the true insight that it takes to "suggest" what the parties are feeling and experiencing having never been there themselves.

This question stems from discussions my WW and I have had relating to the counselor we were visiting. He admits that he and his wife have a great marriage and it is because of the open lines of communication (I can agree to that), but when he suggests that I don't need to know something, or the WW doesn't have to reveal, I feel that I am being played and he has taken her side. We have not been going to this counselor lately as we both agree that we both need to feel comfortable with our decisions, and I just can't when he keeps judging me for my reactions yet says nothing negative about the WW's actions that are causing my grief. I just find it hard to think that someone whom has a perfect marriage, or someone that has never been married and in a serious relationship, can truly counsel someone on what they need having never experienced it themselves. Everyone says that infidelity is the worst thing that anyone can ever experience in their lives and it compares to nothing, so how can a counselor sit there and act like they know exactly what the BS (or WS) is feeling in such situations?

What is everyone's else's thoughts on this?? I am interested to hear all thoughts.




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