Confused - Thoughts of divorce - Attraction to another

Default Confused - Thoughts of divorce - Attraction to another -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My husband and I have been together for a little over 8 years 1 of which we have been married. It has not been the greatest relationship but I have stuck it through the hardships up to this point. However this last year which was supposed to be our first year has been horrible together. My husband has done and said things that I can no longer forgive. Whenever we argued about anything he would end the fight by telling me why don't you leave which always made me bite my tongue. At the time I never would of ever considered leaving him so I would never push forward once he made his threat. I had finally had enough and threatened for the first time to leave, this wasn't a attempt to sway the argument into my favor I was serious. From that point on I've been falling out of love with my husband and have developed unconscious feeling for someone else. I've been doing my best to avoid this individual who is oblivious to my feelings though I can't help feeling that they are mutual. I have never acted upon these feeling and have no intention to as of course I am still married. Now for the even more confusing part. After I announced that I had had enough and wanted to leave it was like a light bulb went off and my husband finally realized how he had been acting all these years. He says he wants to change and become a better husband, this was about 3 months ago. I have seen some improvement in my husbands behaviour, however the person he once was rears his ugly head on occasion. I do not love that person and will no longer tolerate that behaviour like before. I know that I have been a enabler all these years but can my husband change. I myself have changed a lot for his benefit over the years and do not like the person I became. My husband is a home body and does not enjoy group activities unlike me who thrives on that kind of interaction. We have little to nothing in common and I can't stand be locked inside the house which has been a constant battle. A co uple of years ago I finally developed a small group of friends and finally started feeling myself again. I tried to get my husband involved with my friends or merely socialize together outside the house for years with no luck. Now however since he has come to his realization he wants to spend time with my friends and me. We've tried it and for me anyways it always feels so awkward. I've been finding myself over the months becoming colder to him and distant despite him efforts. I have the feeling that its a too little too late for him to make up for all those years, I can't shake the thought that I'm with the wrong person. The thoughts never stop, I consider what I would do after we separated, where I would go, how we would separate things, etc. and of course I can't stop thinking about the guy I have a very strong attraction to. I want to give my husband the benefit of the doubt and let him prove that he can become a better husband. I don't even know if I have the heart to l eave and break his heart. Though my thoughts, my gut, and feeling say otherwise. Can I get over these feeling and love my husband again? Will he actual change or can he even? How do I silence these thoughts in my head? I want to confront the other man but I know that's not the way to go as long as I'm with my husband. So Confused. I'm sure I'm not the only one so I hope some of you have some advise.

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