Six months ago I found out my husband of ten years had texted a prostitute. He claimed that "nothing happened," and insisted it was a terrible mistake. He promised it would never happen again and said he loved me and wanted to stay married. My trust was shattered, I was shaking, outraged, and blown away, since he appears to be a very "upstanding citizen." He admitted that he DID meet with women during our marriage, but said he "never had sex, never kissed anyone, and never had an emotional relationship." He said he wanted to renew our relationship, and promised to be faithful and devoted to me from that day on, and said he would make it up to me. He has appeared to be "trying." However, it's been six months since then, and over that time I decided to "keep my eyes open, mouth shut, and do not confront." I have become observant and began to notice things I hadn't noticed before. I ended up uncovering a six-year history of emails, dinners, hotels, c ondom purchases, and trips to meet with women during most of our marriage. That text that I found was only the tip of the iceberg of a secret life he was leading while I was at work and had no way of knowing his whereabouts and trusted him every minute. So here's where things stand. I have not let on to my husband that I met with both a lawyer and private investigator. They both claim if my husband has been faithful over the past six months, I have a weaker case for adultery. But if I can prove that he has met with women SINCE I first discovered the original text six months ago, that I can pursue adultery as a divorce claim. I am determined to divorce this liar, cheater and con artist but I want to be smart. I believe that he is currently continuing his behavior and thinks he has me fooled. The PI wants to follow him with a GPS device (at a cost of $1500 for two weeks surveillance), and I have been looking at past Credit card receipts (before the prostitute text) to f ind any real evidence of adultery, such as a motel receipt, and found one from 2009. That may not work, since he can claim that he has been faithful for the past six months. However, something incriminating happened around Valentine's Day. I found a pen from an expensive hotel at my husband's desk (he is anal about pens and uses only one).When I asked him about it he claimed he had gone there for a seminar but I checked and there were no recent seminars. Then a Victoria's Secret catalog arrived at our house a few days later, with a "Customer Number" in his 42-year old daughter's maiden name (so obviously someone made a purchase). Daughter said she did not order anything from VS, and has been using her married name on credit cards for 15 years. I looked up the VS online account but could find no account or order under any of my husband's or his daughter's email. At the same time, an LLBean order was made for men's clothes to be mailed to his office which is less than a mile away. He's obviously ordering clothes for himself which he does not keep at home. Is there a way to find out what he ordered from VS without knowing which email address? I am trying to keep this all quiet from him, because I want to gather as much evidence as possible before I confront him later in a divorce suit. I know I'll ultimately have to pay the PI, but what if husband doesn't meet anyone over those two-weeks time? I have to catch him. I am exhausted and just want this over with, but I don't want him to think he can just keep fooling me -- he thinks he's pretty clever. Please help.
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