I've been married to my husband for 8 years and I would say the first 5 years were super. We have 3 kids together and have talked about having a 4th. When we first met, he was charming, in shape, confident, and full of energy. Over the years, he has grown overweight, lazy, and doesn't pay me enough attention. We used to have sex 3-4 times a week and now I'm lucky to get it twice a month. As you can probably guess, yes, I have been cheating on him. The other man that I'm seeing is a neighbor. He is attractive, charismatic, athletic, and caring. The catch of this other man is that he is married so our interactions have to stay secret from his wife as well as my husband. The problem with that is that my husband came home one day and found me giving this man oral sex in our bedroom. My husband ran out of the home crying and I tried my best to try to console him and tell him that this would stop. My lover doesn't want to ruin his own marriage so he has agreed to end things with me if that's what I want to do. The issue I have is that this other man has showed me how much better life could be and is everything I want in a man. I know my husband has the potential to make me happy because he was once the mirror image of the man that I've been seeing.
I need my husband to stop moping around the house and acting pitiful. He is a great father and because of that, I can't leave him since my kids will hate me for that. It's just he fails to satisfy me sexually and emotionally. He still doesn't listen to me when I tell him that he needs to be more spontaneous and take care of his body more. A good sign of things is that he does accept the fact that his behavior caused me to cheat but instead of being a better man, he is trying to be more attached and needy which is something that I don't want. He knows that I'm still seeing the other man and he likes to throw a temper tantrum because of that. He has threatened to tell his wife but he is not stupid enough to do that because if he does, I'm packing myself and the kids and we will hit the door. If he would just stand up and be a man, I wouldn't have to see someone else to get my needs met. What can I do to fix him and make our marriage more fulfilling? I know what I did is wrong b ut I'm not giving up this relationship with the neighbor unless my husband can prove to me that he is willing to step up and be the man that I need him to be.
I need my husband to stop moping around the house and acting pitiful. He is a great father and because of that, I can't leave him since my kids will hate me for that. It's just he fails to satisfy me sexually and emotionally. He still doesn't listen to me when I tell him that he needs to be more spontaneous and take care of his body more. A good sign of things is that he does accept the fact that his behavior caused me to cheat but instead of being a better man, he is trying to be more attached and needy which is something that I don't want. He knows that I'm still seeing the other man and he likes to throw a temper tantrum because of that. He has threatened to tell his wife but he is not stupid enough to do that because if he does, I'm packing myself and the kids and we will hit the door. If he would just stand up and be a man, I wouldn't have to see someone else to get my needs met. What can I do to fix him and make our marriage more fulfilling? I know what I did is wrong b ut I'm not giving up this relationship with the neighbor unless my husband can prove to me that he is willing to step up and be the man that I need him to be.
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