Sad and confused

I am going to keep this really short - please help me if you been through the same or have any ideas.

I have been married for 14 years to my childhood love. We have been together for almost 20 years now. We don't have kids.

I have always had a tense, not-so-loving relationship with my in-laws. Luckily, they live in a different country. Early this summer, they came to live with us for about 10 weeks. I was not expecting the visit to be easy based on past experience. However, it ended up being much worse than expected. I completely shut off(it happens when I am very emotionally stressed and cannot express the problem), spent a LOT of time outside the home or in my bedroom and basically avoided the in-laws as much as I could. Needless to say, I am not a sociopath and this was a reaction to their unloving and cold behavior towards me.

Anyways, they have been gone for about 6-7 weeks. My husband has gone completely insane after their visit. He says that I insulted his parents and it is something that he can NEVER forgive. If he does forgive me, it will be accepting that his parents can be treated badly.

We are now stuck in this horrible situation. We live like strangers in this house. We do not touch, don't have sex(I want to but he does not) and basically behave like disinterested roommates.

I have tried explaining my position and behavior to him(we have had other relatives visit us before and I am completely fine with them) but he refuses to understand. I have also tried telling him that he is no saint and that I have forgiven him for many other things in the past(not cheating but sort of tending towards it). Anyways, I am at a loss to understand why he is doing this.

1) Is he bored with me and is this just a reason to exit?
2) I am sure he is not seeing anyone else so how can he deny himself(and me) sex for so long? Is this normal for a 40 year old man?
3) We just bought a VERY expensive home(hence the parents visiting) so separation will be very very hard
4) A part of me says - this marriage is dead, its time to move on. Do I really want to go through this for the next 30 or so years?

What should I do??

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

Girl takes hours to reply...

• Thread Starter

Girl takes hours to reply...

• Follow
• 3 hours ago 3h ago

But still wants to go out for a drink with me, meet up etc, the texts have resorted to massive paragraphs that are separated by at least 6 hours of nothing..

She takes 6 hours to reply, but doesnt seem any less engaged in the conversation..

What the hell is going on!?!?

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

Genuinely don't mean to be crude.

• Thread Starter

Genuinely don't mean to be crude.

• Follow
• 3 hours ago 3h ago

But does anyone else think it is absolutely beautiful that a woman's sexual organ down there get's wet and opens up, gets looser, when they are really horny and want you.

There is something about it that I just find is so incredibly sexy... The fact the female sexual organ does this to prepare itself and then as if to say I am ready for you. If the woman is really enjoying the sexual experience then they get even wetter and might even cum all over your sexual organ.
There is nothing better than seeing a woman enjoying herself a lot due to you giving her sexual pleasure.

A man's sexual organ just changes shape and then when you reach your pinnacle you release and that's that.

I guess perhaps women feel the same about a man's penis in some ways when they are hard and ready for you? Does it turn you on as a woman to see a man's sexual organ change and prepare itself for you?

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

Anyone else not been in love and/or been loved?

• Thread Starter

Anyone else not been in love and/or been loved?

• Follow
• 3 hours ago 3h ago

I'm a 22 year old female (nearly 23) who is also still a virgin. I've never truly been in love with anyone before. I've had crushes and certainly liked people a lot, but I've never had a reciprocal relationship.

It's either the person is crazy about me (like my ex) whereas I only have half-hearted feelings about them, or I have crushes on people/celebrities who I know I'll never have a chance with. I worry it's going to be like this forever: people liking me and me not reciprocating, or me liking others and them not reciprocating.

I fear I'm never going to have it where I fall in love with someone and they feel exactly the same way about me. You think about it - I think you'd have to be pretty lucky to have exactly that.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

What should I do

My bottom molar is killing me. The dentist said my teeth were wore down. I have an appointment for in the morning for a mold so I can get a mouth guard, but I think in need either a root canal or an extraction. I'm leaving for vacation Thursday. What would you do if you were me? I don't want to be on vacation and have this awful pain or have it get worse. I know this thread isn't saucy or anything, but I could use some good opinions.

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

Emotionally detaching from relationship

• Thread Starter

Emotionally detaching from relationship

• Follow
• 3 hours ago 3h ago

How would I go about detaching myself emotionally from a relationship...?

The reasons being:

- We don't talk as much, had loads of arguments- 'too much water under bridge'.

- I don't trust her anymore and my love for her as become somewhat resentment.

- I think she's cheated or is cheating on me, though, I believe she has some form of mental illness. At least bi-polar tendencies.

- I don't think she's a person of good moral standing, and my whole world has been turned upside down since I've viewed her in this light.

- I have suffered chronically with anxiety and depression for the last month or so. I often fluctuate between feelings of anger, pure rage, jealousy, caring, loving, pity and all the other things you could think of.

- I don't think she's a nice person, and I get the impression she's leading different lives, people have told me I can do better, and that they get a weird gut feeling about her.

- I can't get past some of my own insecurities and hang ups about her past and accepting her stance, sexuality and prior behaviours.

I am close to breaking it off, but I want to do it in a nice way without upsetting or ruffling her feathers. How can I do so whilst not feeling all these emotions?

Right now it's hard because she doesn't live locally. I have to travel to see her and I believe she has predicted it-- that I'm going to pretty much end it. I'd rather have her at a distance than romantically because I don't feel she has my heart in her best interests. I'm really depressed right now and don't know how to process it all.

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

Who else is bored with life?

I think there are probably a lot of other people that feel this way. The monotonous day in - day out of life. I have a pretty decent living situation when compared to most people on this planet. Somewhere along the way I lost track of what I was doing. Some how I ended up in an oddly unstable marriage, no real friends to speak of, and a job that pays the bills but I take no pride in. Everyday waking up going to work, coming home, working on the house, shopping for random crap. I am just so bored with life. I don't really have hobbies or anything to do besides work. Are there other loner types that feel this way? I am not super depressed or suicidal or anything like that. I am just a 30 year old guy who goes through the motions, but I am never really into any of it. I just do it cause it has to get done.

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

What should I do about this girl?

• Thread Starter

What should I do about this girl?

• Follow
• 3 hours ago 3h ago

About 3 months ago I confessed to a close friend of mine that I had feelings for her. She said you know I have a boyfriend, I love him very much. Etc. That I shouldn't be selfish.

I said I'm sorry.

She said I think we can't be friends. And that I should delete her from Facebook. After a few times of me apologizing, she said that she is thinking of me, and that she doesn't want to see me sad. But I insisted that I would be ok. She then agreed and said if she did make me feel sad, then I should tell her.

I didn't want to lose her as a close friend because I really liked her as a close friend as well so I tried to be optimistic and thought well 'well I'm not going to let this stop us from being good friends!'

A week later things went back to normal and we talked as if nothing happened that day.

I tried to move on and keep myself busy with other things. I won't lie that I've moved on from her; deep down I still love her.

Just a little bit of background info about her boyfriend. He lives in another country. They have been talking for 4 years. It's a long distance relationship. She told her mum about him in September but her mum didn't like him and she told her to stop talking to him. She did stop talking to the guy, but then started talking again as she realised she really loves him. Obviously her family doesn't know she is still talking to him now.

Also her plan is to tell her family about him again in 2 years (when she finishes university). She believes she can convince them.

She has met the guy only once, which was in September. The first time she met him, she was in her country, at a concert, and he came over and have her a piece of paper with his number on it. And last year, she went to Turkey and met her bf once, they talked and she said that they kissed too (nothing more). They talk via skype mostly.

So, now that you have the background story, should I even be open to the idea we would ever date? It sounds selfish, I know, to still think about that even when she has a boyfriend, but I can't stop. I really don't want to ignore her because, like I said, I really enjoy her company as a friend too. I find it somewhat wrong just to talk to a girl just to date, and then throw away her friendship she offers after you confess to her. I try to accept the fact she rejected me and really doesn't like me that way, but sometimes I feel like maybe things might change.

What do you guys think? Thanks for reading this long post.

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

Pakistani Guys..

• Thread Starter

Pakistani Guys..

• Follow
• 59 minutes ago 59m ago

What do you look for in a girl? What sort of personality and face?

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

Am I in an emotionall abusive marriage?

I am new to this site. My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years. We have three kids together. I have epilepsy and can't drive. My husband doesn't take us anywhere. If he doesn't want to go, we aren't going anywhere. I always feel like I am walking on pins and needles around him. It takes the smallest thing to set him off. He makes me feel like I am so stupid. He doesn't say that I am stupid, but makes me feel like it. He gets mad if I want to go see my family, and they feel uncomfortable at my house.I could go on and on. I am wanting a divorce and the kids don't really get along with him either. Just wondering if I should start a journal and keep track of these episodes?

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

is this a personality disorder?

Hi,

I have been talking to a girl for about six months now. She is 20 years and I am 33. Right from the beginning, she asked my age and made it clear that she wants to marry a very good and successful man, 30-35 years (definitely not younger). Ideally, she wants to marry within maybe one year from now. Her parents live in a different country and she has lived by herself for many years now. She says she does not want to be alone anymore.

Unfortunately we periodically run into problems. I want to determine if she has some kind of personality disorder or no. If so, I have to adapt myself to best take care of her.

I want you to look at the following and tell me if these are normal or no in your opinion. She typically blames me for them.

1. Lack of trust. She is very suspicious that I have relationships with other girls. My colleague, whose wife is named X in this post, sometimes invites me for a BBQ or a birthday party. She seriously thinks that X has an affair with me. She says X is too close to you in her FB photos and leans on you. I fully explained that there is nothing between us; you can see her husband is always with us too and she takes similar photos (which are normal) with other guys too.

Her mistrust is not limited to X and generalizes to almost any female around me. Even distant co-workers and people in other countries. I have to report every minor detail about past women in my life and present ones who I may see.

2. Irrationally sensitive. She is often normal but sometimes, every 1-2 weeks or so, she makes a HUGE deal out of something small/irrelevant and becomes depressed. For example, I once asked her if her current work is voluntary or paid and she almost made a fight over this! Or she calls me when I am sleeping and if I say I am sleeping, let me sleep one more hour and then we will talk, she later complains that she cared about me that she called me and I was harsh to her. I always have to respond with much care. She is particularly extremely sensitive to any lie (like if I say I ate at KFC instead of McDonald).

3. Controlling and manipulative. She calls multiple times a day. She asks where I eat, with who, what time, when I will be back to office, etc. I have to be precise and consistent in my response (otherwise it's a basis for mistrust). She specially looks for female presence in my day and any kind of lie. If I'm late from lunch 1-2 hours from what I promised, it's an issue. When I said I stay at X's birthday only one hour, but I stayed 4-5 hours and didn't return her calls, we had a two days fight and she almost broke up with me. That was HUGE problem. I (voluntarily) copy paste my professional emails for her to earn her trust. She comments how I should respond to these emails.

4. Impatient and unstable. She messages multiple times a day om FB, Skype, phone, and if I respond later than few hours, more messages come, she is upset and asks if something is wrong. When we have problems, she cries easily and her facial expression changes. If we chat, and I don't respond immediately, she is worried.


5. Fear. She fears loosing me. She says she should come with me so that all ex women and approaching ones see us together. She always says be very careful that others don't flirt with you. She also fears that she is left alone.

6. Dependent. She seems too emotionally dependent on me. She has to call me many times a day and message on FB and Skype. To the point that I feel it might interfere with her school work.

7. Hardly takes criticism. I explain to her, logically, and by example, that her behavior is not normal for this and that reason. She keeps blaming me. She says she hates guys who [often] tell her she has a personality problem, while later it turns out that they were all liars and cheated on her. She gets very much upset if I say her behavior is unmoral. But, to my surprise, I managed to convince her to see a counselor with me.

It seems that something is not right with her. I know others have cheated on her in the past. That could be the reason that she doesn't trust other people. But I suspect she might have a personality issue.
It could also be that I am not sensitive enough with respect to her. I don't know.

All comments are welcome.

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

relationship problems

• Thread Starter

relationship problems

• Follow
• 52 minutes ago 52m ago

in a long term relationship but lately we just keep arguing :( I'm being bullied at work and I am really not coping, like I am vomitting at work regularly from the stress and I have had several panic attacks, I am really depressed and finding it very hard to cope, I used to have an eating disorder and self harm problems and having felt I was 100% recovered from both I now find myself having to constantly fight the urge...

he says I am grumpy all the time and snap at him, I feel like I just need him to not keep doing things that wind me up at the moment when I'm so stressed... I feel like I come home from work and I am constantly waiting on him (like literally waiting, we'll be talking about what to do that evening and between every sentence he will ignore me for a minute while he does whatever he is doing, and then when we decide I have to wait around for 10 minutes while he 'finishes off') and running around after him (he is so disorganised, wont cook, never washes up, never buys food etc) and I know I am being a bit snappy but I feel like I tell him ALL the time about these things and right now I really don't want to be sat around for 10 minutes waiting because without something to do I end up ruminating and feeling ****ty and after a horrible day at work I don't want to have to go and check that he will have something to eat for dinner in case he didn't bother going shopping and then go wit h him to the shops to get stuff when I literally offered to pick something up 2 days ago and he refused

I know I should just stop doing these things for him and I should have some self control about snapping at him but for the first one I just feel so guilty when he then ends up eating crisps for dinner or something and it's hard for me to eat alone at the moment as well and if I don't wash up I have nothing to eat off... and I feel really resentful of him, I know this is something that's been going on for ages (bullying at work) and he's bored of hearing about it but I feel like he just doesn't want to know and thinks I just need to suck it up when actually what I need is some support and I feel like any time I need to talk he clearly isn't interested and just keeps making insensitive comments (e.g. telling me to stop making mistakes at work jokingly as most of the bullying is centred around false accusations and exaggerations but by this point I am starting to feel I must be bad at my job...or telling me to stop being lazy when I am already struggling to eat enough) I think h e probably doesn't realise how bad I feel but that is because he doesn't really give me any opportunity to tell him :( I try and do nice things for him regularly (little things like buying him some chocolates or going to do one of his hobbies or giving him a backrub) and I feel like he's got complacent and given up on doing anything like that and at first he said it was cos he already gives so much in emotional support but now I feel like he's got bored of the emotional support as well

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

Do you consider sexting as cheating?

• Thread Starter

Do you consider sexting as cheating?

• Follow
• 3 hours ago 3h ago

If you caught your bf/gf sexting would you consider it cheating and what would you do?

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

Which Best Describes Your Relationship With Your Parents

• Thread Starter

Which Best Describes Your Relationship With Your Parents

• Follow
• 4 hours ago 4h ago

Prompted by the "do you like your parents" thread in Chat.
Never done a poll on here, but hopefully one coming up!

Edit: I'm very aware that parent/child relationships are more complex than a few questions can give justice to, but hopefully you get the drift.

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe

He tells me he likes me but he talks to this other girl.

• Thread Starter

He tells me he likes me but he talks to this other girl.

• Follow
• 18 hours ago 18h ago

I have been getting close to a guy, we have been speaking a lot recently and have been going on dates. He even came round my house last Sunday and we watched Netflix ALL day and chilled out, it was fun!

The issue I have is that a girl messaged me via facebook the other day and had copy and pasted literally everything he had been saying to her. I didn't think I had an issue with him talking to other girls but the thing that has made me feel kind of stupid and a bit hurt is that he says exactly the same things to her that he says to me.

I thought he liked me but obviously not.

I want to confront him about it BUT I do not want to seem like a crazy psycho, especially as we aren't even official.

I don't understand why I feel so hurt by this :( what do I do you guys?! I keep imagining him with her and it makes me feel sad lol help me!!!!

Put the internet to work for you.

Turn off or edit this Recipe