I am going to keep this really short - please help me if you been through the same or have any ideas.
I have been married for 14 years to my childhood love. We have been together for almost 20 years now. We don't have kids.
I have always had a tense, not-so-loving relationship with my in-laws. Luckily, they live in a different country. Early this summer, they came to live with us for about 10 weeks. I was not expecting the visit to be easy based on past experience. However, it ended up being much worse than expected. I completely shut off(it happens when I am very emotionally stressed and cannot express the problem), spent a LOT of time outside the home or in my bedroom and basically avoided the in-laws as much as I could. Needless to say, I am not a sociopath and this was a reaction to their unloving and cold behavior towards me.
Anyways, they have been gone for about 6-7 weeks. My husband has gone completely insane after their visit. He says that I insulted his parents and it is something that he can NEVER forgive. If he does forgive me, it will be accepting that his parents can be treated badly.
We are now stuck in this horrible situation. We live like strangers in this house. We do not touch, don't have sex(I want to but he does not) and basically behave like disinterested roommates.
I have tried explaining my position and behavior to him(we have had other relatives visit us before and I am completely fine with them) but he refuses to understand. I have also tried telling him that he is no saint and that I have forgiven him for many other things in the past(not cheating but sort of tending towards it). Anyways, I am at a loss to understand why he is doing this.
1) Is he bored with me and is this just a reason to exit?
2) I am sure he is not seeing anyone else so how can he deny himself(and me) sex for so long? Is this normal for a 40 year old man?
3) We just bought a VERY expensive home(hence the parents visiting) so separation will be very very hard
4) A part of me says - this marriage is dead, its time to move on. Do I really want to go through this for the next 30 or so years?
What should I do??
I have been married for 14 years to my childhood love. We have been together for almost 20 years now. We don't have kids.
I have always had a tense, not-so-loving relationship with my in-laws. Luckily, they live in a different country. Early this summer, they came to live with us for about 10 weeks. I was not expecting the visit to be easy based on past experience. However, it ended up being much worse than expected. I completely shut off(it happens when I am very emotionally stressed and cannot express the problem), spent a LOT of time outside the home or in my bedroom and basically avoided the in-laws as much as I could. Needless to say, I am not a sociopath and this was a reaction to their unloving and cold behavior towards me.
Anyways, they have been gone for about 6-7 weeks. My husband has gone completely insane after their visit. He says that I insulted his parents and it is something that he can NEVER forgive. If he does forgive me, it will be accepting that his parents can be treated badly.
We are now stuck in this horrible situation. We live like strangers in this house. We do not touch, don't have sex(I want to but he does not) and basically behave like disinterested roommates.
I have tried explaining my position and behavior to him(we have had other relatives visit us before and I am completely fine with them) but he refuses to understand. I have also tried telling him that he is no saint and that I have forgiven him for many other things in the past(not cheating but sort of tending towards it). Anyways, I am at a loss to understand why he is doing this.
1) Is he bored with me and is this just a reason to exit?
2) I am sure he is not seeing anyone else so how can he deny himself(and me) sex for so long? Is this normal for a 40 year old man?
3) We just bought a VERY expensive home(hence the parents visiting) so separation will be very very hard
4) A part of me says - this marriage is dead, its time to move on. Do I really want to go through this for the next 30 or so years?
What should I do??
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