HI again,
Started a new thread hoping to be gain input and suggestions with specifics now that I am facing the facts that divorce is not longer a what if, but a when.
I mentioned my question is my first thread and have an opinion of how to handle, and do agree with the suggestion. Needing some specific advice.
Both girls from my marriage live out of state and I am going out next week to meet up with them and one of the girls best friends, whom I know well. Short visit for the youngest 21 b day. Girl trip in Seattle with shopping and food! She is in cooking school ;)
Very close family friend of nearly 20 yrs is the OW. She works for him in the business I worked in as well. Very intermingled. Caught affair, confronted and told I was loved and that it would end and they would remain friend. I know, I know....
It didn't. Left business, moved out and told the girls that we have separated and working on our relationship. Said business and too much togetherness caused too much strain. At that time, and I am being honest here with what I thought was happening, they asked if he was having an affair. I said, no he is not having an affair right now. The other daughter asked if I was concerned about Her (the ow). I said that I couldn't control that and left it at that. Probably not the best choice at the time, but felt I was protecting them from the pain that his affair, let alone with whom he chose, would cause them. I still don't KNOW if they are "together", but there is a lot of talk that is not of moral character nor is it ethical.
I am wondering how to tell them or if it is too much info to thell them the real story of his affair or who with. I originally felt he should be the one to tell them, as it was his issue....but I know he is spineless and will not as I had to tell them the news originally and I don't think they have even discussed it in real terms.
They are 21 and nearly 24. I do not want to make it any harder for them than need be, but have protected him during our whole marriage and am tired of it. Any thoughts? Thank you for reading and responding, and apologize for the long read.
Started a new thread hoping to be gain input and suggestions with specifics now that I am facing the facts that divorce is not longer a what if, but a when.
I mentioned my question is my first thread and have an opinion of how to handle, and do agree with the suggestion. Needing some specific advice.
Both girls from my marriage live out of state and I am going out next week to meet up with them and one of the girls best friends, whom I know well. Short visit for the youngest 21 b day. Girl trip in Seattle with shopping and food! She is in cooking school ;)
Very close family friend of nearly 20 yrs is the OW. She works for him in the business I worked in as well. Very intermingled. Caught affair, confronted and told I was loved and that it would end and they would remain friend. I know, I know....
It didn't. Left business, moved out and told the girls that we have separated and working on our relationship. Said business and too much togetherness caused too much strain. At that time, and I am being honest here with what I thought was happening, they asked if he was having an affair. I said, no he is not having an affair right now. The other daughter asked if I was concerned about Her (the ow). I said that I couldn't control that and left it at that. Probably not the best choice at the time, but felt I was protecting them from the pain that his affair, let alone with whom he chose, would cause them. I still don't KNOW if they are "together", but there is a lot of talk that is not of moral character nor is it ethical.
I am wondering how to tell them or if it is too much info to thell them the real story of his affair or who with. I originally felt he should be the one to tell them, as it was his issue....but I know he is spineless and will not as I had to tell them the news originally and I don't think they have even discussed it in real terms.
They are 21 and nearly 24. I do not want to make it any harder for them than need be, but have protected him during our whole marriage and am tired of it. Any thoughts? Thank you for reading and responding, and apologize for the long read.
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