Hello,
I need some objective opinions for my situation.
My husband applied to work at the same place that I work (I had no problems with that). He asked me if I could 'put in a good word' for him. I told him that I didn't feel that it was something that I can do for the following reasons:
1. The place that I work values equality and hiring people based on inter-personal relationships is highly frowned up (we are unionized, so on top of that, there are very strict rules added to the hiring process). I felt very strongly that I would be judged negatively for attempting to create a situation of favoritism. I really enjoy the place that I work and I have a good reputation, I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that, especially for something so trivial as a job.
2. The position he applied for is several grades above mine and I do not deal with the people that he would have been working for. They barely know me, so my input would be meaningless.
3. I feel quite strongly that it is wrong. I have worked in places before where there were staff that were hired solely because they knew someone there and these people were not the best for the job. I don't want to work with people because they are married to 'so and so' or 'so and so's' daughter; I want to work with people because they are competent and there was absolutely no favoritism involved. I think that you should be hired based on your resume. If they like you, then your references are your 'good word'.
Long story short, he didn't get called for an interview and when I told him that they had started interviewing for the process he immediately started to act incredibly melancholy and treating me like it was somehow my fault.
We've had a huge blow up fight today because when he asked me again if I put in a good word I told him that of course I hadn't. I told him that I didn't feel good about doing that right at the beginning.
He just flew off the handle saying things like "so, there are limits as to what you'll do for me?". Well, of course there are. I'm not going to break the law for him and I'm not going to violate the ethical beliefs that I hold because I'm the one who has to deal with that in the future, I have to look myself in the mirror and feel good about myself and how am I supposed to do that if I felt that I broke my own values?
My question is, should I have just done as he asked? Was he wrong to ask me?
It is very possible that this situation is the beginning of a divorce and I'm not sure who is right and who is wrong (or if maybe we're both right and wrong in our own way?).
I would really appreciate some objective opinions.
Thanks, :(
I need some objective opinions for my situation.
My husband applied to work at the same place that I work (I had no problems with that). He asked me if I could 'put in a good word' for him. I told him that I didn't feel that it was something that I can do for the following reasons:
1. The place that I work values equality and hiring people based on inter-personal relationships is highly frowned up (we are unionized, so on top of that, there are very strict rules added to the hiring process). I felt very strongly that I would be judged negatively for attempting to create a situation of favoritism. I really enjoy the place that I work and I have a good reputation, I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that, especially for something so trivial as a job.
2. The position he applied for is several grades above mine and I do not deal with the people that he would have been working for. They barely know me, so my input would be meaningless.
3. I feel quite strongly that it is wrong. I have worked in places before where there were staff that were hired solely because they knew someone there and these people were not the best for the job. I don't want to work with people because they are married to 'so and so' or 'so and so's' daughter; I want to work with people because they are competent and there was absolutely no favoritism involved. I think that you should be hired based on your resume. If they like you, then your references are your 'good word'.
Long story short, he didn't get called for an interview and when I told him that they had started interviewing for the process he immediately started to act incredibly melancholy and treating me like it was somehow my fault.
We've had a huge blow up fight today because when he asked me again if I put in a good word I told him that of course I hadn't. I told him that I didn't feel good about doing that right at the beginning.
He just flew off the handle saying things like "so, there are limits as to what you'll do for me?". Well, of course there are. I'm not going to break the law for him and I'm not going to violate the ethical beliefs that I hold because I'm the one who has to deal with that in the future, I have to look myself in the mirror and feel good about myself and how am I supposed to do that if I felt that I broke my own values?
My question is, should I have just done as he asked? Was he wrong to ask me?
It is very possible that this situation is the beginning of a divorce and I'm not sure who is right and who is wrong (or if maybe we're both right and wrong in our own way?).
I would really appreciate some objective opinions.
Thanks, :(
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