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Need advice

I've been married for 25 years and have been thinking about divorce for quite a while (5 years at least). Numerous times throughout, I have considered divorce but stayed. I had basically told myself that when my kids were through high school, I would divorce. My wife and I have not had sex in years, we rarely do anything together. I'm to the point that I don't like hanging out with her. So, youngest child will finish HS next year, recently the wife and I have had a few arguments and I've told her things that have bothered me. She said something to me that really took me back, she said that I made her feel that she was never good enough for me. I'm at the point that I think we both deserve to be happy. She isn't making me happy and I don't think I will make her happy. I feel like we are just existing and not really in a marriage. It does not feel like a relationship.
My question, should I talk to my wife and tell her I want a divorce before filing or should I get everything in order and then tell her?
This will be a shock to her. I've talked to a friend that went through a similar situation. His comment was this, long term happiness is more important than short term guilt. That is what I feel when I want to bring this up, is guilt. I don't feel in love with her anymore. I don't feel like spending time with her. ANyone that has gone through this, I'd love to get some advice.

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