Started a new thread because it has a different focus...and question...
Quick recap: separated now two weeks, I have anger issues ( am in counseling for that now) never physically abusive but was verbally. She started the separation for anger but found out she fell in love with a mutual friend about a year ago (no doubt my anger didn't help).
New news: she let our friend know how she feels and he flat out rejected her and was extremely uncomfortable about it. Several people have told me about their argument over it so believe it is true. I have acted in the dark however to spare her any more pain.
I have read so much on this website and am currently reading the book "strong fathers, strong daughters" because I have a 4.5yr little girl that I want to be the best dad to. I highly recommend this book by the way even if you don't have a daughter, if you are male it is eye opening.
So. Reading this book and hundreds of threads it has confirmed for me that I am a total idiot, had no idea what my wife needed or how damaging my anger was. I have no excuses but I truly lived in darkness about it.
In reading the posts from women on this sight they show all the signs I am seeing with my wife now and it is so frequent and similar I guess it must be an evolutionary reaction at some point.
My question is simple, I am going to work on me and my issues regardless but am beginning to think that the best thing I can do now is walk away and push the big D, would it give her more peace. Reading those wanting to reconcile with verbal abusers is quite painful to read and at this point I think she deserves better. Regardless of any retaliatory steps she has taken toward me, I don't think I can blame her. Can a women truly bounce back from that kind of hurt?
I would take her back in a heartbeat but seriously question if that is what's best. Would love to hear thoughts, suggestions, advice...especially from women who may have experienced this first hand.
Thank you in advance.
Quick recap: separated now two weeks, I have anger issues ( am in counseling for that now) never physically abusive but was verbally. She started the separation for anger but found out she fell in love with a mutual friend about a year ago (no doubt my anger didn't help).
New news: she let our friend know how she feels and he flat out rejected her and was extremely uncomfortable about it. Several people have told me about their argument over it so believe it is true. I have acted in the dark however to spare her any more pain.
I have read so much on this website and am currently reading the book "strong fathers, strong daughters" because I have a 4.5yr little girl that I want to be the best dad to. I highly recommend this book by the way even if you don't have a daughter, if you are male it is eye opening.
So. Reading this book and hundreds of threads it has confirmed for me that I am a total idiot, had no idea what my wife needed or how damaging my anger was. I have no excuses but I truly lived in darkness about it.
In reading the posts from women on this sight they show all the signs I am seeing with my wife now and it is so frequent and similar I guess it must be an evolutionary reaction at some point.
My question is simple, I am going to work on me and my issues regardless but am beginning to think that the best thing I can do now is walk away and push the big D, would it give her more peace. Reading those wanting to reconcile with verbal abusers is quite painful to read and at this point I think she deserves better. Regardless of any retaliatory steps she has taken toward me, I don't think I can blame her. Can a women truly bounce back from that kind of hurt?
I would take her back in a heartbeat but seriously question if that is what's best. Would love to hear thoughts, suggestions, advice...especially from women who may have experienced this first hand.
Thank you in advance.
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