Hello,
I have an issue that I hope someone can give advice on or relate. My wife and I (both 26) have been together since we were 17. Initially, I never had any issues with erections. We didn't have sex right away cause we were so young, but we would fool around and do other things and never had any anxiety etc. One night when we were about 19, we tried to have sex for the 3rd time, and I couldn't get it up. Now instead of attributing it to tiredness, I took it very personally and become very anxious about this incident. Ever since then, I've been suffering from crippling performance anxiety which has really caused alot of damage to my marriage. Just tonight my wife wanted to make love, and I got really nervous and ofcourse could not achieve an erection, which made her feel terrible. I've told her this many times but it's been so song that she is sick of hearing it and wants out the relationship, and rightfully so. We have a 10 month daughter, and I would really like to fix this and make this relationship work. My anxiety comes and goes with the stressors in my life. When I was laid off last year, I kept thinking about my career and we had sex semi-frequently 1 every 2 weeks (plus we just had a baby). We havent made love since April 20, and it feels like my mind is a calendar that just counts the days, with each day that passes with no sex ruining our marriage more and more. Lately however the anxiety has gotten so bad I cannot even achieve an erection on my own.
I need help, BAD. I'm just so afraid that this will be with me for the rest of my life. What could possibly work for me? I haven't been to the doctor cause I have a hard time believeing that anything is medically wrong with me. I doubt that a sex therapist will do me any good. But maybe I'm wrong? I'm desperate - I love this women, and I hate myself for not being able to have a normal sex life. I avoid sex I'm so scared of it. The only time it ever happened for a long time is if it was totally spontaneous and I had no time to even think about it. But lately ity has been so bad. Please if somebody could give me some advice it would really help, is there and end to this? Do sex therapists even help?
Thanks everyone
I have an issue that I hope someone can give advice on or relate. My wife and I (both 26) have been together since we were 17. Initially, I never had any issues with erections. We didn't have sex right away cause we were so young, but we would fool around and do other things and never had any anxiety etc. One night when we were about 19, we tried to have sex for the 3rd time, and I couldn't get it up. Now instead of attributing it to tiredness, I took it very personally and become very anxious about this incident. Ever since then, I've been suffering from crippling performance anxiety which has really caused alot of damage to my marriage. Just tonight my wife wanted to make love, and I got really nervous and ofcourse could not achieve an erection, which made her feel terrible. I've told her this many times but it's been so song that she is sick of hearing it and wants out the relationship, and rightfully so. We have a 10 month daughter, and I would really like to fix this and make this relationship work. My anxiety comes and goes with the stressors in my life. When I was laid off last year, I kept thinking about my career and we had sex semi-frequently 1 every 2 weeks (plus we just had a baby). We havent made love since April 20, and it feels like my mind is a calendar that just counts the days, with each day that passes with no sex ruining our marriage more and more. Lately however the anxiety has gotten so bad I cannot even achieve an erection on my own.
I need help, BAD. I'm just so afraid that this will be with me for the rest of my life. What could possibly work for me? I haven't been to the doctor cause I have a hard time believeing that anything is medically wrong with me. I doubt that a sex therapist will do me any good. But maybe I'm wrong? I'm desperate - I love this women, and I hate myself for not being able to have a normal sex life. I avoid sex I'm so scared of it. The only time it ever happened for a long time is if it was totally spontaneous and I had no time to even think about it. But lately ity has been so bad. Please if somebody could give me some advice it would really help, is there and end to this? Do sex therapists even help?
Thanks everyone
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