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wanted to move on but still couldn't

Background story:
Date for 12 yrs since high school and married 1.5 yrs
He has an affair when I was pregnant. Discover the affair when my kid is 2 month old.
Ow divorcee with 2 kids. Older and earn much more than me.
He promise to leave her but I discover they still together.

I start the 180. File divorce, ignore his message.
Other than kid related issue, I don't entertain.

It been a year, I still going through divorce proceeding.
We couldnt agree on how the asset allocated and how the maintenance goes.
Within that year, a lot of evil and hurting remarks we have make to each other.

Now, I just as much want to move on and forget this piece of ****
But curiosity keep on holding me up. Then I start to search for his facebook, forum posting etc.
In the end, I just get hurt.

It so hard to move on. It distracting my life and my concentration in work.
:(
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