My sister is just about to give up on her marriage. She is asking me of all people for advice.
They have been married 17 years. Lots of problems in the past. She pretty much decided to stop complaining a few years ago. He drinks beer all evening after work in the man cave. Sleeps in the chair and never comes to bed with her. No sex hardly. He says he doesn't get the urges any more. They don't communicate much. Only in passing. She is a complainer galore. He has lied and hidden things, (money, spending, where he goes, etc.) and she gets really confrontational. He doesn't like the conflict and just laughs it off or chalks it up to that is just her.
He has told her he likes how it is. He thinks everything is fine. She does not like how it is and has told him many times. He once moved out a few years ago.
Now I have already learned from here that she has to work on herself. She can't change him. She has lots of improvement to do as well.
She now doesn't think anything will change so it might be best for him to go. The problem is she can't live without his income. She works full time but it's not enough. She really can't downsize for the fact there is two kids and our dad she cares for. Also he has the insurance through the job.
I know I'm leaving out lots of information but don't want to go too long here.
I told her she three options:
1. Try again by working on herself and telling him what she needs.
2. He moves out but helps her with the bills.
3. Start preparing to be without him and his income.
What does TAM think?
They have been married 17 years. Lots of problems in the past. She pretty much decided to stop complaining a few years ago. He drinks beer all evening after work in the man cave. Sleeps in the chair and never comes to bed with her. No sex hardly. He says he doesn't get the urges any more. They don't communicate much. Only in passing. She is a complainer galore. He has lied and hidden things, (money, spending, where he goes, etc.) and she gets really confrontational. He doesn't like the conflict and just laughs it off or chalks it up to that is just her.
He has told her he likes how it is. He thinks everything is fine. She does not like how it is and has told him many times. He once moved out a few years ago.
Now I have already learned from here that she has to work on herself. She can't change him. She has lots of improvement to do as well.
She now doesn't think anything will change so it might be best for him to go. The problem is she can't live without his income. She works full time but it's not enough. She really can't downsize for the fact there is two kids and our dad she cares for. Also he has the insurance through the job.
I know I'm leaving out lots of information but don't want to go too long here.
I told her she three options:
1. Try again by working on herself and telling him what she needs.
2. He moves out but helps her with the bills.
3. Start preparing to be without him and his income.
What does TAM think?
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