So I'm a 19yo guy at university, and I've fallen in love with a close male friend of mine at university. We've known each other for probably around a year now, and have become a lot closer recently. We have tons of inside jokes, we tease each other a lot, and we both talk to one another about very personal things that we probably wouldn't speak to anyone else about. I see him most days at uni, sometimes just by chance on campus although we do meet up regularly.
He has had a particularly rough time over the last year or so for many personal reasons, one of those reasons being his coming to terms with his own sexuality. We've had a lot of conversations about being gay, telling friends and family, relationships etc, and he's really started to come out of his shell in the last couple of months or so. I used to wonder if (and hope) he had feelings for me, until he later told me about a guy he liked.
I told him to be confident and to ask this guy out, and they are now a couple and have been dating for 7 weeks. His boyfriend's a great guy and they do work really well together, I can see why my friend likes him. I've tried so hard to be happy for him, and I was relatively fine until a couple of days ago, when he said how great his boyfriend is and how much he likes him. That broke my heart and the fact he's been spending more time with him than usual makes it even harder. I am glad he's happy but it's killing me to see it at the same time. I cried in bed for hours the other night, and I very rarely cry at all.
The other (perhaps bigger) problem is that I'm currently in a relationship with someone who, since the beginning of this year, has treated me very badly and taken me for granted several times, and although I've given him several chances, I no longer have feelings for him. I reached a point over the recent Easter break from university where I decided I wanted to break up and am still in the process of getting ready to end it (it may seem immature but it's my first relationship and I've never broken up with someone, so it's probably taking me a little longer than it should). I think I've gotten closer to my friend ever since my happiness in my own relationship began to disappear, and over time I've developed greater feelings for him than I've ever had for anybody.
My current other-half is the sole reason I met the friend I've fallen for in the first place - they live together and they were friends before I met both of them.
I just don't know what to do. I can't tell him how I feel because I'm not going to put him in such a horrible position, especially given that he's friends with someone I've been in a relationship with and that he's happy at the moment. But I can't carry on feeling like this either. I've never felt like this about someone and I just don't know how to sort myself out.
Put the internet to work for you.
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