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Pain for women after the "O"?

I love to be intimate with my DH but with two kids (and one on the way) as well as working full time jobs the sex life isn't as often as we would like! My question is whether is physical sex or oral if I Orgasm before him it becomes extremely painful and within seconds all my sex drive is gone! I don't know why but I can't even finish him if I go first I'm that over it and sensitive! I hate it so much. Any other women have that issue, and what do you do to be able to have multiple orgasms or atleast continue to enjoy it?!
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