Since getting an iphone, my husband and his phone have become inseparable. He takes it to the bathroom, sleeps with it under the pillow, checks it constantly - date night, dinner, in bed, whenever. It really bothers me and he knows it, but nothing seems to change.
One night I rolled over and found him sleeping with his hand still on the screen. That's when I realized he was visiting revenge porn sites while laying next to me in bed. Another night, he fell asleep again while looking at his phone. He was googling his secretary's name - apparently looking into whether or not she had a twitter account, facebook, whatever. The history here is that during a firm holiday party (after he had been with the firm only a year), he got sloppy drunk and spent a good portion of the night hitting on his secretary. He even walked her home. This party did not include spouses and throughout the afternoon and into the evening I got one message after another saying he would be staying later and later. In the end I bundled up our three year old and set out to pick him up from the bus station at 10:30 pm (the "party" started at 1 p.m.). He was ridiculously drunk and wasn't wearing his wedding ring. He even sang a song about how he wasn't wearing it. T hankfully our daughter was asleep at the time and didn't experience the horrible evening that ensued. He was at his absolute worst. Eventually, he apologized and said that he felt horrible knowing he had behaved inappropriately with someone other than his wife. He said "I know you shouldn't pi$$ where you work. I know better!" - my first thought was this: how about knowing you shouldn't pi$$ all over your wife and your family? How about that? Anyway, she wasn't interested and was probably creeped out by the situation, but I keep thinking, what would have happened if she wasn't? And now, after having a serious heart to heart and getting our relationship back on track, I see he is creeping around on the internet trying to learn more about her. Not that it should matter, but the woman is a very pretty young woman, too.
I had a feeling something was off and asked him if he was truly happy. He said he was and that he had never "felt more committed to our relationship" than he does now. I said I felt like he was bored and that if the opportunity presented itself, he would have an affair. He thought about this for a second too long and said "I think you have to have temptation to do that and I can't think of any temptations I have right now." Does that sound like a good response to you? It didn't leave me feeling warm and fuzzy, that's for sure. Later he got a little more animated and said "Honey, I would never do that. I love you and our life and I see enough on the internet to know affairs always turn ugly."
Still, the same night he ended up doing internet searches on his secretary. I'm feeling pretty low.
One night I rolled over and found him sleeping with his hand still on the screen. That's when I realized he was visiting revenge porn sites while laying next to me in bed. Another night, he fell asleep again while looking at his phone. He was googling his secretary's name - apparently looking into whether or not she had a twitter account, facebook, whatever. The history here is that during a firm holiday party (after he had been with the firm only a year), he got sloppy drunk and spent a good portion of the night hitting on his secretary. He even walked her home. This party did not include spouses and throughout the afternoon and into the evening I got one message after another saying he would be staying later and later. In the end I bundled up our three year old and set out to pick him up from the bus station at 10:30 pm (the "party" started at 1 p.m.). He was ridiculously drunk and wasn't wearing his wedding ring. He even sang a song about how he wasn't wearing it. T hankfully our daughter was asleep at the time and didn't experience the horrible evening that ensued. He was at his absolute worst. Eventually, he apologized and said that he felt horrible knowing he had behaved inappropriately with someone other than his wife. He said "I know you shouldn't pi$$ where you work. I know better!" - my first thought was this: how about knowing you shouldn't pi$$ all over your wife and your family? How about that? Anyway, she wasn't interested and was probably creeped out by the situation, but I keep thinking, what would have happened if she wasn't? And now, after having a serious heart to heart and getting our relationship back on track, I see he is creeping around on the internet trying to learn more about her. Not that it should matter, but the woman is a very pretty young woman, too.
I had a feeling something was off and asked him if he was truly happy. He said he was and that he had never "felt more committed to our relationship" than he does now. I said I felt like he was bored and that if the opportunity presented itself, he would have an affair. He thought about this for a second too long and said "I think you have to have temptation to do that and I can't think of any temptations I have right now." Does that sound like a good response to you? It didn't leave me feeling warm and fuzzy, that's for sure. Later he got a little more animated and said "Honey, I would never do that. I love you and our life and I see enough on the internet to know affairs always turn ugly."
Still, the same night he ended up doing internet searches on his secretary. I'm feeling pretty low.
Put the internet to work for you.
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