Have been reading for days this forum and can't express how I feel knowing I am not alone.
Got married very young, after kids left to study abroad I thought we were working on us again being alone. Bought a weekend house, went every Friday for more than 1 year. Around Sept 2012 he started acting distant, fights were easy to start and sleeping in different rooms was becoming normal. Tried to talk but things became the same within days. Worked together for 15 years. I was desperate by Dec 2012 and asked him to move, so he did next day... was like if I was opening the door to the dog.
After 1 year of separation, this January 2014 he asked for divorce, it took me by surprise since we were having a good relationship. No OW for sure. He is a lonely man and told me he liked being like that and that our marriage was broken since several years. I have not been working since he moved out and feel so lonely. I thought we were going to be able to work things out. Were going to IC, to the same therapist. She told me to give him time, so that was what I was doing... but then after he asked for divorce I asked her what went wrong and she told me that he got comfortable and since is very busy at the office he doesnt think as I so often and that he has not being able to feel real loneliness.
I told him to do what is necesary, that I was not going to be the one doing the paperwork for the assets change of name etc... seems that has taken time, more than expected, but once in a while I get requests to sign papers or go to the bank, etc and feel SO sad. Part of me would like this to be over, the other wants to work on our marriage, but it can't only be me.
Last year we only saw each other twice. When he asked for divorce it was by phone. I asked to meet, so we did finally but his position is the same... this is broken. I tried to convice him to go out once every month to see if we could bond again, but he said no.
Our kids send sometimes emails copying me and him regarding their studies or experiences. We have this comunication via email copying everyone. Now I started the 180 about 10 days ago just replying to my son or daughter not copying him anymore. Besides that, no communication at all.
This year would be our 25th anniversary. He sends me extra money sometimes. Last time he did was about 15 days ago, I started crying, cause I feel that what I need is him not the money, and writing checks has always being his way of showing love.
Confused, but knowing that it is what it is and trying to move on looking for a job to keep myself occupied besides some courses I am receiving but dont do the job.
Got married very young, after kids left to study abroad I thought we were working on us again being alone. Bought a weekend house, went every Friday for more than 1 year. Around Sept 2012 he started acting distant, fights were easy to start and sleeping in different rooms was becoming normal. Tried to talk but things became the same within days. Worked together for 15 years. I was desperate by Dec 2012 and asked him to move, so he did next day... was like if I was opening the door to the dog.
After 1 year of separation, this January 2014 he asked for divorce, it took me by surprise since we were having a good relationship. No OW for sure. He is a lonely man and told me he liked being like that and that our marriage was broken since several years. I have not been working since he moved out and feel so lonely. I thought we were going to be able to work things out. Were going to IC, to the same therapist. She told me to give him time, so that was what I was doing... but then after he asked for divorce I asked her what went wrong and she told me that he got comfortable and since is very busy at the office he doesnt think as I so often and that he has not being able to feel real loneliness.
I told him to do what is necesary, that I was not going to be the one doing the paperwork for the assets change of name etc... seems that has taken time, more than expected, but once in a while I get requests to sign papers or go to the bank, etc and feel SO sad. Part of me would like this to be over, the other wants to work on our marriage, but it can't only be me.
Last year we only saw each other twice. When he asked for divorce it was by phone. I asked to meet, so we did finally but his position is the same... this is broken. I tried to convice him to go out once every month to see if we could bond again, but he said no.
Our kids send sometimes emails copying me and him regarding their studies or experiences. We have this comunication via email copying everyone. Now I started the 180 about 10 days ago just replying to my son or daughter not copying him anymore. Besides that, no communication at all.
This year would be our 25th anniversary. He sends me extra money sometimes. Last time he did was about 15 days ago, I started crying, cause I feel that what I need is him not the money, and writing checks has always being his way of showing love.
Confused, but knowing that it is what it is and trying to move on looking for a job to keep myself occupied besides some courses I am receiving but dont do the job.
Put the internet to work for you.
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