Flashback to several months ago, and my current boyfriend was tying me up to my bed because I'd asked if we could try out light bondage. I explicitly stated several times beforehand, "I don't want to try anal, so please don't break my trust." So naturally he goes ahead and puts it in there as soon as I'm tied up.
I was very uncomfortable, and my body language showed it, my entire body/face was practically, 'no, I don't want it, please stop". I said his name in a warning tone, however he just continued. It was always as if someone had pushed my mute button, I just lay there completely stock still.
I've never really thought much of it, as I blame it on myself, for not explicitly saying 'no' whilst he was doing it, or even struggling, and just taking it (excuse the innuendo) passively. I have no doubt that he would have stopped if I'd said no insistently.
Reading it back it does sound kinda dodgy, but I'm not sure if it's rape, a) because I was passive and b) he is boyfriend and I don't think he'd ever do anything intentionally to hurt me.
Rape has always been portrayed to me as a hugely traumatic experience, and although I was annoyed and a tiny bit upset at him for it, I don't have any emotional scars from the experience, and whilst it was uncomfortable and slightly painful he was nice enough to lube me up beforehand (sorry for TMI) so there was no physical repercussions either.
Put the internet to work for you.
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