I've been divorced from my ex for a little over a decade now. We have two children, one 20 (just finished second year university) and the other 17 (in her second last year of high school). When the ex and I separated back in 2004 I purchased a home 5 minutes away so I would be in the same school district as my kids and would be able to have they stay with me regularly. We settled on the kids staying with me Tuesdays and Wednesdays and every second weekend (6 days out of 14).
Last fall my ex's father became ill eventually dying. During the time he was ill my ex told me she was planning to move back home this upcoming July (6 hours drive from here) to be closer to her father and was taking my daughter with her. I figured it was a kneejerk reaction, expressed concern about my daughter, but didn't pursue it as I didn't want to be cruel at that point. After the holidays I sent the ex an e-mail outlining my opposition to my daugher moving from the only home she has ever known to finish high school in a completely new city.
The ex ignored my request so I recently contacted a lawyer to see what my options are. The lawyer recommended mediation which my ex refused. I am now planning to take her to court to enforce our agreement which prevents her from moving my daughter away without my permission.
My daughter has agreed to the move but I believe only because she is trying to be considerate of her mothers feelings...not because she wants to leave her life here and all her friends to start up somewhere else for one year. I'm not pressing her to get her to change her mind because I don't believe it's a decision a child should really have to make anyhow. I don't want her to feel like she has to choose.
I'm pretty sure if I get an order to keep my ex from moving away with my daughter she won't move without her...so my daughter wins. If it were only about me and my feelings I wouldn't cause an issue. I'm pretty passive that way. I'm only standing up to my ex now for the first time because I believe her actions are hurting my daugher.
I'm interested in hearing other people's opinions as I'm struggling with this. I really don't want to inadvertantly hurt my daughter in this process.
Last fall my ex's father became ill eventually dying. During the time he was ill my ex told me she was planning to move back home this upcoming July (6 hours drive from here) to be closer to her father and was taking my daughter with her. I figured it was a kneejerk reaction, expressed concern about my daughter, but didn't pursue it as I didn't want to be cruel at that point. After the holidays I sent the ex an e-mail outlining my opposition to my daugher moving from the only home she has ever known to finish high school in a completely new city.
The ex ignored my request so I recently contacted a lawyer to see what my options are. The lawyer recommended mediation which my ex refused. I am now planning to take her to court to enforce our agreement which prevents her from moving my daughter away without my permission.
My daughter has agreed to the move but I believe only because she is trying to be considerate of her mothers feelings...not because she wants to leave her life here and all her friends to start up somewhere else for one year. I'm not pressing her to get her to change her mind because I don't believe it's a decision a child should really have to make anyhow. I don't want her to feel like she has to choose.
I'm pretty sure if I get an order to keep my ex from moving away with my daughter she won't move without her...so my daughter wins. If it were only about me and my feelings I wouldn't cause an issue. I'm pretty passive that way. I'm only standing up to my ex now for the first time because I believe her actions are hurting my daugher.
I'm interested in hearing other people's opinions as I'm struggling with this. I really don't want to inadvertantly hurt my daughter in this process.
Put the internet to work for you.
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