| I wrote about this again (not in such detail though) but at the time I thought I was ok and I didn't ask for advice. Turns out I am anything but ok, I can't stop thinking about her… I can't even work properly and I have a deadline soon. There is this girl I met, this amazing beautiful and kind person. Even from the first time I laid eyes on her she felt so right. I have been with other girls but I never felt like that before, she felt special like if there was a powerful force pulling me towards her. Every day I saw her, my emotions grew stronger and stronger. Her amazing personality seemed too good to be true. We have so much in common, never before in my life had I met a girl that could make me feel so complete, it felt like she was the one for me… my soul mate. Deep inside I believe she could also see that, I could see it in her eyes, her beautiful smile and sometimes from her awkwardness around me. She was only around for a month (I know it's not a long time but sometimes some things feel just so natural), she just moved in to my flat in the university halls to have her exams and then she left. What I didn't know was that she had a boyfriend. When I learn that I was very disappointed. Anyway since she had a boyfriend I decided to try and be her friend instead but I think after a while my feelings got too obvious and she started to raise a shield to me, but I still felt she was also confused about her feelings. We still kept talking on a daily base though. The day before she left I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk in the park, but she had her last exam that day and after that she had to go to a goodbye meeting with her friends. She told me that if she came back early we would go. It turned out that she didn't. I thought that was the last time I saw her but then just before she left she came and knocked on my door (she didn't go to the other neighbor). She was kind and nice as always, she had this unbelievable smile… she wished me to have a good summer and good luck with my project. She also told me that we would keep in touch, from her eyes I could still see that there was something. I wished her to have a nice summer and told her goodbye. Unfortunately after that everything went very bad. I sent her a message on facebook asking her how she was but she never answered. After two and a half weeks I sent her another one again asking her how she was and also told her my news, I also sent her a cool song I found (no lyrics or anything flirty), after that she unfriend me. This happened at the same period of time of a very negative event in my life, as a result I lost control of my emotions and told her everything about my feelings but I told her I respect she had a boyfriend and I didn't expect anything, I even sent her another message afterwards. A few minutes later I got an answer but it was from her boyfriend… telling me that she doesn't want to know me and that I was annoying her and then she blocked me. Maybe I went too far and hurt her? Maybe I was wrong and she was never even a bit interested? To be honest this whole behavior didn't seem to be like her. I mean if I was really annoying her why would she tell me we will keep in touch? Also why wouldn't she tell me herself instead of her boyfriend? She was so kind when she was here. I can't believe she could be so insensitive not to tell me herself, I was nothing but honest with her. I can't understand what happened, maybe she decided to cut me off? Or maybe her boyfriend was suspicious? Anyway the thing is I still feel so bad about this, I cry every day. It feels like I lost the chance to be a friend or even more with a great person. I have never felt like that for another woman before, I don't know if I ever will. Please help me. I know the typical answer is move on, or be happy for yourself and keep improving yourself. The thing is I have been doing that for years and I still do. It really feels hard to move on. | |||
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