| Hello Ladies. I have been looking at this site for some time and have gotten lots of good ideas on how to interact with my wife. There is one issue, though, that I am at a loss on how to deal with. A few months ago I found my wife's gmail account open on our office computer. Though I don't make a habit of spying on my wife, I will admit that I took that opportunity to check through some of her correspondence. I saw that there were a few emails from an old classmate of hers (someone whom she never dated or ever seemed to be involved with beyond the realm of friends). Most were pretty innocent, sharing updates on their families, occasional jokes of the day, etc. But I saw a few that he sent her that I think crossed a line. He told her in a couple of emails about dreams he had that included her. They were not sexual or overt in their content, but talked about snuggling by a fire and trying to spend time with her, etc. She didn't respond to these messages, not even to brush him off. She seemed to ignore them, though they were marked as being read. In digging a bit more I found other emails in which over the years this same guy has tried to invite her to lunch, suggested they talk on the phone (since email is so impersonal) and has invited her to come visit him (he lives a couple of hours away). Again, she has never taken him up on these invitations and has at times tried to gently reject him, often with humor. He has also sent my wife a few gifts over this same period. Nothing big--a book, some popcorn, a mix-CD of songs he likes (including some love songs), and on one occasions flowers. He says just to let her know he's "thinking of" her and/or out of friendship. They have also, apparently, spent some time together at their class reunions. It was pretty clear from the emails he sent after those meetings that he tried to spend time with her away from the group, but she declined. They are facebook friends and every once in awhile I see posts they make on each others' timelines. Hers are almost always comments about his wife and family--how great they are, etc. His are almost always compliments to her, he likes her picture, she looks great, etc. Last night she updated her profile picture and he almost immediately posted a comment that "I always like your pictures." Now, my wife is a very attractive woman, so I am not surprised by the attention she is getting from this classmate. I know my wife loves me and I love her. I am 100% certain there is nothing going on between the two--but not for his lack of trying. My questions for you ladies are: 1) Am I justified in being a bit upset by this guy's attention? 2) If so, should I say something to my wife (and admit to snooping in her emails) or should I confront this guy directly? If I say something to my wife, I am sure she will not react positively to the email snooping and she will say that I am being overprotective because nothing has happened and she is not interested in letting anything happened. Should I insist that she unfriend him on facebook? If I confront him, the best I could do would be to call him up as driving to see him without my wife knowing would be almost impossible to pull off. Ideally, I would like to speak with him face-to-face in part because I want him to be reminded that I could kick his a-- and that I would do it if he doesn't back away. Should I threaten to send the email copies that I have to his wife? Should I send them anyway? Am I overreacting? | |||
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