| Last year my Girlfriend of 5 years left me. She was perfect to me in everyway, one in a million, I was the envy of every guy I knew. She could not have been more perfect. She was my best friend and my soulmate, and had never once ever gave me any worries about her cheating on me, I thought her love for me was the same as mine for her, always unconditional as it had been for 5 years. I am a single dad to a young girl, my partner helped me so much with her, and I also helped her thru a few bad times. At the time I'd lost my home and job and at the time I was depressed and took my eye off the ball of being amazing to her. She was also ten years younger than me and said it was also partly because she didn't wanna be tied down and needed to travel and enjoy her early twenites. I had to accept this hard though it was, with a kid and without a job, I didnt feel like I had much to give her so let her go. A month later after leaving me, she got with someo ne else my age with kids and quickly settled down. Its been 15 months now, 15 of the hardest months ever for me, it has nearly killed me living every day without her. It has aged me years and makes me physically ill. Ive seen her a few times during that time (to see my daughter) and shes always been nice, they are the only moments I feel alive. I'm happy that shes found happiness, but I just cant live without her. Its changed who I am. I'm half the guy I used to be. Nothing has any taste, everything is colourless without her. I haven't turned to drink or drugs, and I have become a workaholic in a very good job. Im trying to do all the correct things one should, and not dwell on it. But I'm constantly completely depressed and miserable. I find it hard to establish friendships let alone meet other women. Im just not interested in anyone else but im so sick of being lonely and my daughter (without a mum) needs a female influence in her life Yesterday I found out my one true love is getting married. I just cant cope anymore. Some may think its pathetic, but everyday without the girl I love is hell. We live in the same district and I get so scared everytime i have to go near their town, or if there is a big event near where we both live. I just cant face seeing them together. I'm tired of feeling so crap all the time and the effect it might have on my daughter. I dream of her every night and have the nightmare of waking up and realising shes gone. I cant help but think of her every second of every day. I've unsuccessfully tried antidepressants and councilling, and just don't know what to do to get over her. I'm an intelligent, emotionally aware, logical guy, but just don't know how to beat this and stop it ruining my life. Please someone help me | |||
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